A hip hop artist known as Caper and based in Adelaide the past two decades, the last 12 months has seen Col Darcy refocus his creative energies as he embraces his own reinvention as an indie rapper.
Part of this seismic career change occurred when Col's best mate and fur baby Jakey died; that event triggered a range of emotions including old trauma that resurfaced.It sparked a mini midlife crisis with Col finding himself spiralling into depths of depression and a constant conflict with maintaining a healthy well-being.
Alongside "meditation and reading the right books", Col decided to bury himself in creating new music, channelling the vast range of emotions to create enough material for multiple new albums. He's condensed the new material into a 17-track LP titled 'Beautiful Hopeless'.
"When I lost Jakey it triggered trauma and resurfaced pain and a sense of hopelessness that had an impact on my physical and mental health, relationship and life purpose.
"The album reflects a journey of me deciding to move from Adelaide to Melbourne in mid 2022 to pursue music, work in a new 9-5 job while trying to find my purpose and keep my relationship intact. At times I felt beautiful, at times I felt hopeless creating this album."
Col also took the giant step to move to Melbourne. "I feel like I never fitted in with Adelaide's conservative lifestyle and people. I also moved to escape the racism. I love that Melbourne is more multicultural on a bigger scale and that the arts scene is electric. I'm glad I had the courage to pack up and move."
What prompted the move from Caper to Col Darcy; what do you hope to achieve from making the switch?
I've been under the name Caper for the past 20 years. It was just time to retire the name like a footy guernsey. I had some good success under Caper, but I wanted to reinvent myself with having a more refined sound, story and perspective on life.
I thought the best way to do it is give people more of me by giving my real name and presenting it with my latest honest narrative, 'Beautiful Hopeless'.
Has the name change also redirected your artistic focus or does that remain the same?
My artistic focus has always been to try and connect with people by telling my truth, perspective and stories.
I hadn't been this personal in a project for a minute though; I avoided being vulnerable for a period of time maybe out of fear and that I'd touched on it so much in the past. I couldn't suppress the expression though with 'Beautiful Hopeless'; I needed to vent.
You mentioned the lost of your fur mate Jakey prompted the lyrical direction and themes you cover on 'Beautiful Hopeless' after it triggered old trauma; what sort of inner dialogue did that experience create and has having such a creative outlet allowed you to process some of the emotions/ pain that rose to the surface when Jakey died?
The inner dialogue was that my life felt hopeless; I felt lonely, I felt worthless and unloved. I felt a constant internal battle with it.
It's something I had to try and be conscious of through meditation and reading the right books to help make sense of it all. Also, I just had to let time pass by to heal from losing Jakey. It felt like I relapsed from all the good personal development I'd done in the past.
Losing him triggered things to resurface and I felt my purpose in life with doing music was fading. I'd lost the only little soul that ever gave me unconditional love. It took a toll, but I had to talk about my feelings and emotions through the music so creating this album felt like therapy.
Jakey must've been a special doggo; what made him such a character? Favourite memory?
He was one of a kind and very human like with his personality and nature. He gave me unconditional love which was special. He would always be happy to see me and followed me everywhere I went. He'd pick me up if I was sad.
We spent a lot of happy times together. He would lay beside me in his bed for the past two years that I spent recording my past seven albums in my home studio. He was my best friend and I was his Dad, his protector. My favourite memories were our walks on the beach where he would run a lot and just looked happy and free.
You said of the recording process: 'At times I felt beautiful, at times I felt hopeless.' Can you expand on that sentiment and what allowed you to power on and complete the project?
Sometimes I felt confident and beautiful and sometimes I felt hopeless prior and during the creation of this project.
Trauma is a horrible feeling, I went through so many different emotions creating this album. I felt hopeless from losing my purpose in music, losing Jakey, relationship issues and was dealing with childhood trauma during the recording process. And I captured all of that.
It was hard to stay motivated to get some songs finished because I had to go back to a 9 to 5 and make a living again. Reflecting back now, I'm surprised I even managed to find the time to finish the album before moving to Melbourne.
You also explore your move from Adelaide to Melbourne for a new 9-5 job, mental wellness and maintaining your relationship with your partner on the record; sounds like it was an intense, cathartic process; how vital to your own well-being has this creative process being, to express a range of emotions through the music?
Expressing was definitely vital to my well-being, it helped to deal with the stress.
It was a pretty intense time after things resurfaced and I felt pretty lost. I thought moving to Melbourne had been well overdue and a chance to gain bigger opportunities. I owed it to myself to make a change in location as a fresh start and didn't know what impact it would have on my life.
I feel like I never fitted in with Adelaide's conservative lifestyle and people. I also moved to escape the racism. I love that Melbourne is more multicultural on a bigger scale and that the arts scene is electric. I'm glad I had the courage to pack up and move.
For those listening, given the deeper emotion background of the songs what do you have others can take away from this collection of songs?
It will be good if people took away something positive and can appreciate my honesty.
Also that life has its ups and downs and can be beautiful and hopeless. To hear the importance of being present and controlling the ego and train it to acknowledge flaws and own them in order to move forward. Nobody's perfect, we've all got them. We can all find beauty in the struggle.
The recording process; was it an album you were able to bring together seamlessly or were there moments or particular songs that required extra attention, multiple versions to reach the final product?
It felt like it was a seamless effort because I didn't force the creativity.
I do recall with songs 'Sleepsless Nights' and 'Under My Skin', I had to adjust to rapping over drunk drums. Something I've never done before, so trying to land in the pockets on the off-beat snare took a minute. I pride myself on my lyrics and flow, so to get that right was important to me 'cause I really care about honing my craft.
As always, I captured what I felt in the moment and it became the album. Each song came one after the other. There wasn't a set theme before I recorded, it now seems like a blur because I recorded 7 albums in 1.5 years. I've done so much in a short space of time.
Probably the most challenging song to get right was 'Jakey'. It took a bit of time to get a vocal take because I'd get quite emotional and his loss was still very new. I really felt burnt out after recording 'Beautiful Hopeless'.
The beats that feature on the record; where did you procure them from; what do you look for in to get active and want to rap over it?
The beats came from producers that I brought from online. I've had a refined taste in production the past couple years which has been lo-fi and trapsoul.
When choosing a beat, it depends on the mood I'm in whether or not I'll purchase it. I also wanted to rap over some drunk drums, which are off-beat drums for those who don't know. I'll continue to rap over more in the future, which I feel will also give a different vibe performing them live.
Your style of hip hop; do you have particular influences that inspire your own works?
I've always been influenced by the real lyrical artists and good storytellers such as Eminem, Tupac, Jay Z and more recently J Cole, Kedrick Lamar and Koda The Friend.
I've listened to a lot of lo-fi music the past couple years, which is why musically it's gone in that direction. My main inspiration for music though is life and my lived experiences.
The move to Melbourne; has it allowed you to move your music career forward, realise your dreams?
Not yet, I've only been here five months. The first step was getting settled into Melbourne and my new 9 to 5 and then mixing and mastering the album and put it out. Next year will be a year full of grind, putting out more music videos and doing more live shows. Will be great to receive more fruits for my labour and make my dreams become a reality in 2023.
As we head into a new year, what do you hope to achieve with your music in 2023?
I want to keep building my empire, my brand and independent record label Lion Heart Nation. We are the 'kings and queens' building our own empires, it's like a self-belief system.
I want to reach as many people as possible with my music and solidify my name 'Col Darcy'. Will be great to achieve that by gaining bigger show opportunities and trying to land on more playlists. It's been really challenging for visibility and notoriety as an independent artist, but I gotta keep putting in the work and what will be will be.
Thanks for your time; anything else you'd like to add?
Watch out for a new documentary that I'll release in 2023 that will give some insight to my creation and the mixing process.
