Miss Bertie Page sure does love her pussies.
The burlesque queen's glam punk band, Bertie Page Clinic, sold out their 'Pussy Love' show at Sydney's Vanguard in 2012. They're bringing it back in 2014 with shows at Brisbane's New Globe Theatre and Sydney's Mardi Gras.
To celebrate, Page has put her love of all things feline and furry into words with this list of her five favourite pussies.
1. Garfield
The Cher of the cat world, he needs no second name. A joy to feline-fascinated children, it's a shame when you grow up and find out that he really wasn't that funny.
2. Salem (‘Sabrina The Teenage Witch’)
Just like any kitty-obsessed little girl of the ‘90s, I wished that Salem was my own. As a church-going child I was torn by the fact that watching a show with supernatural themes was a sin but I couldn't help myself. Salem may have been the work of the devil but I would have sold my soul to have a talking cat.
3. Judith’s Fur Zone (‘Life Of Brian’)
I must have been 10 years old when I first saw this film. I was a hardcore Christian kid but it broke down a wall for me, I couldn't help laughing at the absurd nature of the the stories that I was taught were dead serious. I never forgot Judith's muff. At this age I thought about ladies' pubes a lot; I didn't know much about the inside, I just looked at my favourite movie stars and imagined their muffs. I thought this was wrong, but I got over it.
4. Mrs Slocombe's Pussy (‘Are You Being Served?’)
Who could ever tire of the tales that issued forth from our favourite fairy-floss quaffed matron? Her pussy was always getting soaking wet or grabbed by a firema. Once it was so cold she had to light the oven and hold her pussy in front of it.
5. Elizabeth Berkley's Pussy (‘Showgirls’)
Young Elizabeth had left ‘Saved By The Bell’ two years before starring in the 1995 flick and she was eager to cast off her high school image. She bumped and ground her pussy around a giant volcano set; she bumped pussies with nemesis and the object of her lust, Gina Gershon; Glenn Plummer reached down her tights to make sure her pussy really was indisposed, and nobody could ever forget the way that she thrashed her pussy on Kyle McLachlan in film history's best/worst swimming pool sex scene.Bertie Page presents Pussy Love! at the New Globe Theatre Saturday February 15 with blues groovers Switchblade Suzie, rock babes Lulu And The Cutthroats, and a litter of Brisbane's best burlesque kitties.
