After five "incredible" years Zayn Malik has decided to leave One Direction. Niall, Harry, Liam and Louis will continue as a four-piece and look forward to the forthcoming concerts of their world tour and recording their fifth album, due to be released later this year.
So began the statement released on the One Direction Facebook Page – and none of what followed bears mentioning here. What weren't revealed were the real reasons why Zayn chose to move on.
1. Joining Palmer United Party
The deep-thinking 5-piece have long been admired for their penetrating political insights and a serendipitous meeting with Clive Palmer on their recent Oz trip started an itch that had to be scratched. Zayn is replacing recently-defected Glenn 'The Brick' Lazarus on the PUP ticket in Canberra.
2. The New Host Of Top Gear
The BBC has had Zayn 'on ice' for a while now as they've waited for Jeremy Clarkson to make his final faux pas. Following 'The Beeb's taking the Stig to Clarkson, who in turn had earlier taken the Stig to the show's producer, Zayn was immediately free to announce his intentions.
3. Leg Spinning For England
England's early exit from cricket's World Cup was the final straw for Malik who reportedly said 1D's fans would have fared better than the woeful England team. Zayn, who had the choice of playing for either England or Pakistan (his mother's heritage), is a more than useful leggie and solid middle order bat. He told scenestr he's looking forward partnering with Kevin Pietersen in the soon-to-be-revamped England side.
4. Backing Vocals For Guy Sebastian
After hooking up with Guy at a Palmer United Party fundraiser on One Direction's recent Australia tour, Guy let slip he felt his Euro offering needed a bit of 'beef up the back' and wondered if Zayn would care to dream the Eurovision dream with him. Zayn said yes.
