Besides laying down new tracks for The Beards’ fourth album, Facey McStubblington has been incredibly busy “stroking my beard, calming my beard, writing songs about beards… you know, usual beard-related things”.
The Beards have gained somewhat of a cult following since their formation in 2005, for what was supposed to be a one-off show. While their success may have come as a surprise to some, for Facey it was perhaps more of a natural progression. The Maton-sponsored guitarist first picked up the instrument at the age of ten after undertaking formal piano and vocal training for several years. “I had a bit of classical training, which helped no doubt in developing an ear for good music, though honestly my music didn’t really take off until I was old enough to grow a beard,” Facey says.
“I pretty much graduated then from Kurt Cobain to Van Halen in a matter of weeks. But having said that, that would insinuate that Eddie Van Halen is a brilliant guitar player, wouldn’t it? But, he doesn’t have a beard… so… Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, him and me are the best bearded guitarists in the world.”
With the current trend for facial fur, thanks in part to the hipster movement, Facey says he believes the movement is gaining a following. “I don’t like to think there is any kind of bad reason for growing a beard, even to be part of a hipster trend. But I must implore the hipster generation, once it becomes uncool again to have a beard, to stand up for your rights and do not shave.
“Big, small, patchy, ginger – any beard is great. Shaving is just a ploy from Schick and Gillette – don’t buy into it. Take it from your bearded god Facey McStubblington.”
Facey says the beauty of having a hairy muse means there’s always something to write a song about. “I don’t think we’ll ever run out of things to say about beards. It’s an inevitable part of the human psyche, there’s always going to be peaks and troughs in levels of creativity. But the wonderful thing is, any time I am having a lull, my inspiration – my muse, if you will – can be found below my bottom lip.”
Far from keeping fans away from their beards, the band actively encourages people to touch/ stroke them at their shows. “Ultimately it is not about us at all, we are merely vessels for the beards. We like to let fans have a very tactile experience, to allow them to hold the beard between their thumb and forefinger. Then most non-bearded folk immediately want to go home and grow a beard, or obviously in women’s cases have their significant other grow a beard.”
While protective of their facial hair, The Beards do not fear ‘snip-happy’ souvenir hunters. “If you remember, Dimebag Darrell – another of our bearded brothers – was sadly shot at a show several years ago… that same fate would be shared by any snip-happy punters at one of our shows.”
Literally singing about beards has taken the band overseas, and seen them perform at such prestigious beardy events as the World Beard & Moustache Championships opening ceremony in Alaska. “That event was held in Anchorage, which isn’t the capital, it’s actually a port town in Alaska,” Facey says. “The interesting thing about Alaska is that it was actually another place that Captain Cook found… now, he was a beardless chump, so I don’t even know how he managed to find any of these places they say he did.
“I would liken that gig, though, to something of a utopia. There were nigh on 1,000 bearded men and beard lovers in the audience, they didn’t know any words to our songs between the word ‘beard’ yet they were one of the most enthusiastic crowds we have had the fortune of playing to.”
The Beards will embark on an extensive three-month tour of Australia this week, promoting the release of ‘The Beard Album’, which lands this Friday. “We have toured quite extensively in the past, but not really when anybody was paying that much attention. In 2010 we played 133 gigs in a calendar year – I know that because I do all of our APRA returns. Touring is really the best holiday one could have, being with three bearded men you love for almost 24 hours a day for weeks and months on end. I can’t wait.”
The Beards Tour 2014
Thursday, 8th May Studio 6, Sutherland, NSWFriday, 9th May Tattersalls Hotel, Penrith, NSW
Saturday, 10th May Collector Tavern, Parramatta, NSW
Wednesday, 28th May The Pier Hotel, Esperance, WA
Thursday, 29th May The White Star, Albany, WA
Friday, 30th May Settlers Tavern, Margaret River, WA
Saturday, 31st May Prince of Wales, Bunbury, WA
Sunday, 1st June The Astor Theatre, Perth, WA
Thursday, 5th June Mona Vale Hotel, Mona Vale, NSW
Friday, 6th June Wollongong Uni, Wollongong, NSW
Saturday, 7th June The Abbey, Canberra, ACT
Sunday, 8th June Captains, Batemans Bay, NSW
Wednesday, 11th June Carrington/Baroque Bar, Katoomba, NSW
Thursday, 12th June The Railway Club, Darwin, NT
Friday, 13th June The Railway Club, Darwin, NT
Thursday, 26th June Harvey Road, Gladstone. QLD
Friday, 27th June The Lionleigh, Rockhampton, QLD
Saturday, 28th June Dalrymple Hotel, Townsville, QLD
Sunday, 29th June The Jack, Cairns, QLD
Wednesday, 2nd July The Spotted Cow, Toowoomba, QLD
Thursday, 3rd July Sound Lounge, Gold Coast, QLD
Friday, 4th July The Tivoli, Brisbane, QLD
Saturday, 5th July Sol Bar, Maroochydore, QLD
Sunday, 6th July The Northern, Byron Bay, NSW
Thursday, 10th July Armidale University, Armidale, NSW
Friday, 11th July The Family Hotel, Tamworth, NSW
Saturday, 12th July Port Panthers, Port Macquarie, NSW
Sunday, 13th July Hoey Moey, Coffs Harbour, NSW
Wednesday, 16th July Karova Lounge, Ballarat, VIC
Thursday, 17th July The Barwon Club, Geelong, VIC
Friday, 18th July 170 Russell, Melbourne, VIC
Saturday, 19th July Theatre Royal, Castlemaine, VIC
Sunday, 20th July Spirit Bar, Traralgon, VIC
Wednesday, 23rd July Bar on the Hill, Newcastle, NSW
Thursday, 24th July Entrance Leagues, Central Coast, NSW
Friday, 25th July Fitzroy Hotel, Windsor, NSW
Saturday, 2nd August The Gov, Adelaide, SA
Thursday, 7th August Brisbane Hotel, Hobart, TAS
Friday, 8th August Spurs Saloon Bar, Devonport, TAS
Saturday, 9th August Royal Oak Hotel, Launceston, TAS
'The Beard Album' is released May 9.
