After eleven years of relentless touring and inexplicably producing five albums of songs about nothing but facial hair, Australia’s favourite beardy-weirdies are saying farewell with an extensive, final national tour.
“It's a little bittersweet to see the end of an era,” bassist Nathaniel Beard says. “We've been touring very hard around Australia for the past six years and we’ve been a band for eleven, so it's a little bittersweet to see the beginning of the end of that phase of our organisation's existence.”
Having united the nation’s beard lovers, informed us that if our dad doesn’t have a beard we actually have two mums, and propagated a hardline pro-beard agenda, The Beards have decided to progress to what Nathaniel ominously dubs the ‘next phase’ of their operations. “We're basically declaring ‘mission accomplished' on our initial goal which was to make Australia, and by extension the entire world, a far beardier place,” he states proudly.
“A place where you can have a beard without having to explain yourself and a place where bearded people can enjoy almost all the same rights as people without beards. I say 'almost' because politics still remains the last bastion of the beardless.
“For whatever reason, I think they cling to old ways in politics and there's this old way of thinking that people don't trust someone with a beard; that old saying that someone with a beard always has something to hide. Whereas the opposite is of course true: someone who shaves has something to hide, and that's their beard that they shaved off.”
The Beards’ farewell tour boasts a huge setlist of classic favourites as well as rarities from across their (hairy) back catalogue. It also features two sets: a stripped-back acoustic performance followed by rousing rock set that is sure to include the obligatory beard-love synonymous with the band’s live shows. “With the setlist we've made a point of having it include an extremely eclectic mix of songs throughout our back catalogue.
“We've got a lot of really loyal fans who always come back to see us and we've made a point of playing as many songs as we can on this tour, and that's why we're doing two different sets.
“There'll be an acoustic set to begin with where you get an uncomfortably intimate experience with us, and then after that we'll be moving on to an absolute balls-out rock set to get everyone whipped up into a state of frenzied revelry before we call it a day.
“It's pretty much got a bit of everything: it's longer, and the shows we've done so far have been going off great; we've had a great time and so have the audience.”
So what does the next phase of The Beards’ operations entail exactly? What’s next for these intrepid beardsmen who have singlehandedly brought facial hair to the forefront of Australian culture?
While Nathaniel assures he will be neither shaving nor entering the woefully beardless realm of politics, he is cautious not to reveal too much of their organisation’s plans for furthering global-beard domination. “I have to be a little bit cryptic about my answer here: let's just say we're moving from phase one of our operations onto phase two. I can’t say much more than that but rest assured we will be actively out there in the community promoting beards, and we'll be keeping a close eye to make sure that beards continue on their upwards trajectory.”
“If that falters, we'll be ready to step in and do whatever is necessary, legal or otherwise, to make sure beards are given the respect they deserve.”
