Review: Steel Panther @ The Fortitude Music Hall (Brisbane)

Steel Panther at The Fortitude Music Hall (Brisbane) on 24 October, 2024 - image © Clea-marie Thorne
With an insatiable passion for live music and photography adventures, this mistress of gig chronicles loves the realms of metal and blues but wanders all musical frontiers and paints you vibrant landscapes through words and pics (@lilmissterror) that share the very essence of her sonic journeys with you.

Steel Panther slinked into Brisbane's The Fortitude Music Hall last night (24 October) as part of their On The Prowl tour.

Not only are fans arriving in droves in anticipation of their crass, totally sleaze-infested glam metal, but many are also chomping for a piece of John 5 and his shred-tastic tunes.

It all starts with John 5 and his drummer Alejandro Mercado taking to the stage, performing in front of black draped shapes we know are hiding the stage set for Steel Panther. John 5 shreds straight into it – his fingers on the fretboard being the only dialogue needed to entrance us, really.

His mastery of the guitar and playful expressions are all we are fixated on; there could be no programmed lights for all we care. Oh! The flashing LED mouth guard was a bit of fun – I wonder who caught it when he tossed it out, saliva and all into the crowd before proceeding to drool while playing his axe.

John 5
John 5 - image © Clea-marie Thorne

John 5 takes us through a set that shows any punter new to his live sounds that he is a demon on the axe, and is not defined by genre being one of the most versatile shredding legends on the planet.

Covers commence with the crowd asked to sing-along to Queen's 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' followed by a slow rendition of the familiar hook of Nirvana' 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', which was oh so short but oh so sweet.

One of the few times the crowd get any verbal engagement from John 5 is to have us compete for more bluegrass or rock, or introduce his band which as he says doesn’t take long as it is only Mercado! However, he also introduces us to his guitar tech Richard Ramirez wearing his Titties, Tattoos and Telecaster tee, to help out on bass.

We are teased with an excerpt of Pantera's 'Walk' that incites cries of dismay stopped only by a snippet of White Zombie's 'Thunder Kiss '65' before John 5 takes a moment to tell us how he joined a new band (jokes) and that they're going to play some songs from that new band and asking us to sing-along as it is going to be recorded!

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John 5 - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Of course, his stab at a little humour is introducing his medley of well-known Motley Crüe hooks, kicking it off with 'Live Wire' and 'Too Fast For Love'; the riffs and licks has heads banging and the party pumping.

Punters lose their sh.t for more of those familiar glam-metal sounds including the likes of 'Shout At The Devil', 'Girls, Girls, Girls', 'Dr. Feelgood', and 'Kickstart My Heart'. Ramirez even encourages fans to light up phones and lighters while we sing along to a bit of 'Home Sweet Home'.

The pent-up anticipation for the headliners transcends into a frenzied bliss as we see drummer Stix Zadinia take the stage and wave to acknowledge our cheers. Next, Spyder (bass) is greeted with more cheers and the roars get louder for Satchel (guitar).

Finally, Michael Starr (vocals) receives his extreme, raucous welcome with arms wide open, accepting the vocal embrace hurled at him. An intro tape rolls asking us "are you ready for the greatest night of life. . . are you ready for your life to change, for your insides to be rearranged? Are you ready? Are you ready? Hold on to your vaginas you f...ing pussies!"

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Within moments, the guitars let riff in kicking in with 'Eyes Of A Panther' as sparks fly high in columns across the stage creating more visual drama for the show unfolding before us. The flurry of shredding guitar riffs, pounding drums, and vocals soaring higher than your mate after a few too many bucket bongs, set the tone for the night ahead.

Satchel, a wizard on steel strings, is already working his magic, his fingers moving faster than a tradie working up to beer o'clock knock-offs. Starr, in all his leather XXX SEX studded leather pants and bleach blonde head of glory, is hitting notes that I bet is making the jewels of the males in the room disappear.

'Let Me Cum In' keeps the tempo rocking, Starr's pipes wrapping around every innuendo like a goanna up a gum tree. The crowd are treated to some hilarious tongue-in-cheek crude and rude, and totally expected Steel Panther banter. I hear the air reverberating with the sound of united chuckles and even some deep belly laughs to boot.

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

It isn't long before they catapult into 'Asian Hooker', after apparently spying one in the crowd. Fans join in and are screaming back every line with uninhibited enthusiasm. The chunky bassline from Lexxi Foxx is dense as he pulls it off with a look that would have been most cool in 1987 (wink, wink).

The bangers continue coming at us fast, much like a teenage boy's first time. Did I say that? No, but I thought it! 'Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)' and 'Friends With Benefits' melt faces with their riffage and comical lyrics.

Satchel's guitar solos and poses are leaving our mouths gaping as his fingers fly up and down the fretboard in an absolute frenzy. Bringing down the house while giving the middle finger to every music genre except metal is 'Death To All But Metal' as Starr's vocals push the limits yet he handles it unwaveringly, punching it out with a rebellious, devil-may-care 'tude.

For the uneducated reader, Steel Panther are a wild, cheeky throwback to the glam metal days of the '80s – even down to their clobber. Picture long hair, tight leather pants, make-up, and a whole lot of attitude.

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Steel Panther tunes are hard rock, full of face-melting guitar solos, loud, booming drums, and lyrics that are straight-up filthy-funny and over-the-top. You have to appreciate there's an art to making fun of rockstar stereotypes while being rockstars at the same time – Steel Panther nail it; they're the ultimate parody band that also rip at playing live.

Things are getting about as earnest as it can possibly get with these dudes. Of course, it is the almost heartfelt anthem '1987' and it is drenching us with nostalgia. As fans sing-along, I can't help thinking they're sounding like a karaoke night gone bad – really bad; yet their heart and soul can be felt pouring out from their mouths nonetheless.

'Girl From Oklahoma' tones things down a tad more, Starr taking us on a derisive ballad; to steal from the lyrics of the song, he hits the high notes like someone is indeed sucking his balls all night!

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Starting out with Abbey, who was chosen to the band's banter babe tonight, she takes their unapologetic innuendos with smiles and sass, Starr milking it for more laughs. After dirty ditties – well more like sexually-laden serenades from the band members – it's time for another 17 (maybe more?) girlies to hit the stage as things shift from stand-up comedy back to the sheer madness of '17 Girls In A Row'.

The crowd shout and scream out loud to the chorus while the boys are up there shredding like legends, hair flying everywhere while drummer Stix Zadinia keeps things tight-as with a rock-solid beat that has our trunks bouncing.

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Oh man! Fans are out to prove me wrong. Now outdoing themselves, possibly proving they are the best damn debaucherous choir Steel Panther has had before them. Singing along to 'Community Property', a metal ballad for the ages, they are loud, proud and wishing they were onstage where the girlies still are with the band hamming it up!

You know the night is approaching its wild finale as they crack open the notes of 'Party All Day (F... All Night)'. This track has everyone inside The Fortitude Music Hall going nuts, voices roaring, with arms flung in the air, while beers are being slung down throats – even the men in the crowd want to get out their titties; and they do!

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

As the song concludes, the energy in the venue is sky-high and there is not a rush for the parking lot or train as there often is. Fans are waiting for their encore and when it hits, it hits as hard as the thrusts of Rocco Siffredi or Ron Jeremy; it's of course their close-out banger, 'Gloryhole'. Raunchy lyrics add to the party atmosphere and it's a perfect way to end the night leaving fans grinning, maybe a few blushes and definitely some questionable life decisions. LOL!

It may have been the '00s that birthed this very naughty band from Los Angeles, but fans haven't tired of their polished, lewd and depraved satirical spoof. Eerr humm, I mean music.

Essentially puerile and highly entertaining, loud and rowdy Steel Panther also prove they're a tight (playing) and talented quartet who just happen to be completely bonkers and oversexed!

The instrumentation has been so tight. To put it in the vein of SP humour, I could say that it is not unlike a pair of budgie smugglers two sizes too small for their owner's lunchbox – yep it is that positively obscene.

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Steel Panther - image © Clea-marie Thorne

Their combination of cheeky humour and killer musicianship gives them the staying power in the music industry that can be fickle. Tonight, Brisbane swallowed every drip of riffage, took every loaded joke thrust at them, and opened their mouths wide for every glorious lyric and ears for every pumping note.

More photos from the concert.

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