Ben Ely has thanked audiences for a lot of different things over the years. For coming, for singing along, even just for applauding when the song's finished.
Tonight (7 October), however, the bassist of Brisbane's fearless freaks Regurgitator utters what feels like a first-time gratitude: "Thanks for not throwing stuff at us!" Context is key, of course: They're playing the biggest show of their 30-year career, within the confines of Sydney's cavernous Accor Stadium, in front of an audience that famously tears bands to shreds purely for not being the band they came for.
This largely conservative, old-time-rock-and-roll audience could well have started pelting from the drop, when the trio emerged dressed as nuns and kicked directly into the expletive one-two of 'I Sucked A Lot Of Cock To Get Where I Am' and 'I Will Lick Your Asshole'.
They poke the bear even further by having 'Unit'-era keytarist Shane Rudken run out onto the stage in a tutu and an orange wig. It's par for the course at a regular Gurge show, but in this setting it paints the band as agent provocateurs.
Still, it's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what you're not – and thankfully there's a pocket of 'Recovery'-watching Gen Xers in amidst the cranky boomers and confused children that cheer the band on and sing along with 'Polyester Girl' and 'Kong Foo Sing'.
With a boldness that pays off in spades, the Gurge survives the lion's den of a stadium support slot.
When Weezer announced they had secured tonight's main support slot, they did not share the tour poster on their socials. Instead, they shared a vintage photo of frontman Rivers Cuomo sat in his childhood bedroom, guitar in hand, with pictures of KISS adorning the wall behind him.
For Rivers, this moment is a literal childhood dream come true – which becomes even more meta when they reach 'In The Garage', which features the lyric: 'I've got posters on the wall/ My favourite rock group, KISS/ I've got Ace Frehley, I've got Peter Criss/ Waiting there for me.'
Want to go even further? Sure, why not: Let's have the band cover 'Strutter' from KISS' eponymous debut album – a song they've barely played the last decade – just for good measure.
Even when it phases out of a surreal daydream and back into reality, Weezer feels at home within stadiums – even if it's not 'theirs' like it was on the Hella Mega tour with Green Day and Fall Out Boy.
With fun, animated visuals going up on the giant video screen behind them, lifted from their own 'Indie Rock Roadtrip' tour, the band are able to stretch their more maximal moments out into something quite literally widescreen.
Cuomo can stick his microphone out during 'Island In The Sun' and get a decent makeshift choir going, and even the most folded of arms can't stop heads banging during 'Hash Pipe'.
With one, last hurrah on signature song 'Buddy Holly', KISS fans have been officially Weezered – and the nerds, finally, get their revenge.
Of the thousands in attendance, a considerable pocket of them would have been born after March 2000. Consider this: None of those born this millenium have ever lived in a world where KISS weren't on some sort of farewell.
KISS were doing this a full three years before John Farnham, too. And now, here they are again. Finally, definitively, for the last time ever. . . after telling us the exact same just over a year ago when they toured in August-September 2022.
Talk is cheap, sure, but actions speak louder than words – and even when it's action most fans have seen plenty of times before, they're quite literally explosive enough to ensure that a smile is not only raised but properly plastered.
You know the moves by now: 'Detroit Rock City' kicks off and 'Shout It Out Loud' follows, which is still just about a perfect way to start a show of this scale. Classics like 'Lick It Up' rub shoulders with latter-day obscurities like 'Say Yeah', all while conductive elements like fire and dry ice blast from around the battlefield.
Everyone's getting a solo, even Gene Simmons – although it's primarily just so he can chomp on some blood capsules and do some spooky sh.t while his strings ring out.
Are you expecting just a little bit more, considering this is allegedly our last stand with the face-painted veterans? Honestly, yeah.
One of the only differentiating factors comes when a fan runs onto the stage during piano ballad 'Beth' and is tackled by security – the only time something isn't completely rehearsed, completely fine-tuned, completely on schedule.
It doesn't help that large patches of the audience are total zombies throughout, too – choosing to spend their final hours (as far as they know) with KISS watching them through their phone screen instead of being present and, y'know, rocking and rolling all night.
That's not even covering the elephant in the room: The fact you could fit entire herds of elephants in the empty stands around the venue. There's tens of thousands in attendance, of course, but in a venue that seats well over 70,000 it looks pretty grim out there.
This would have felt incredibly full at Allianz Stadium across town, but due to a game being on there and them having archaic rules about only allowing six gigs a year (two of which were taken by Elton John in January), here we are.
Still, when you're taking in the final moments of this stadium-rock celebration, everything else just kind of subsides. You're looking up at a sky full of confetti and balloons, streamers ready to pop, as one of the catchiest rock songs of all time – 'Rock N Roll All Nite' – is being played loud and proud. It's all about the moments – and KISS have provided plenty over 40-plus years of touring.
If this is genuinely it, let it be known they went out with a very literal bang.
