Early reviews of one of the most hyped records of all time, Daft Punk's Random Access Memories, have come trickling in, and... well, I hope you're sitting down.
If these reviews — which, to be fair, are based on one listen to the record — are any indication, it might be time to dial your expectations down. Way, way down.
Sure, the critics had plenty of positive things to say about certain tracks on the album, but as you skim through, these are the sorts of sentences that will stand out to you.
From FACT's review:
"At times, it's like listening to a Disney soundtrack: the Paul Williams featuring 'Touch' is the worst example, but 'Motherboard', 'Beyond' and 'The Game Of Love' are all pretty hammy. At other points, it's so prog it hurts."
"Although its closer, 'Contact', is good, its soaring serrated synths remind you of the grit that's generally been missing to that point."
"7 minutes too many of 'Touch', by some distance the album's turkey."
"Random Access Memories reminded us just a little bit too much of [Toto IV] at times."
From Clash Music's review:
[On 'The Game Of Love']: "Overall, that was a tepid jaunt that didn't really develop."
[On 'Instant Crush']: "It seems the robots have a complex mental condition, an inverted depersonalisation disorder. Or these Frenchmen are taking their android narrative way too seriously. Maybe those helmets have fogged their vision a tad?"
[On 'Touch']: "We're in a nightmarish delusion created by the short-circuitry of bad musical meets tired disco. Somewhere, Touché is in tears. Daft Punk's Disney-fication continues strongly."
[On 'Get Lucky']: "This is sounding better and better amid this depressed robot day care centre fare."
[On 'Beyond']: "Daft Punk lyrics often suck, but this is perhaps their nadir of dog-log-fog rhyming. If you're going to blast out average lyrics, the song needs to slay us."
[On 'Motherboard']: "Can I hear Bangalter rustling around in the pantry finding more crackers to heap this cheese upon? Sorry, that was nasty."
[On 'Contact']: "This is fairly agonising. Child-like volume control flicks jar heavily with the lush production on other songs... it's a mess of ideas and sounds dated."
"All three journalists look cautiously at each other before shaking heads at the offer of listening to any specific part or song again."
From Mixmag's review:
[On 'Fragments Of Time']: "Those expecting a 'Face To Face'-style banger will be very disappointed. Those with a more open mind will also be disappointed... 100 per cent let down."
In general, Mixmag's review is overwhelmingly positive — certainly much more so than FACT or Clash Music's — so if you want to maintain your unrealistically high expectations, that's the one to read.
Frankly, I'm relieved to have those expectations lowered.
