Psychedelic Porn Crumpets: Keeping Them Warm For Your Nana

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets
National Music Editor, based in Brisbane, Australia.
'Passionate about true crime docos, the Swannies, golf and sleep, I’ve been writing about music for 20-plus years. What I’ve learnt? There’s two types of music – good and bad.’

With two albums to their names, Perth rockers Psychedelic Porn Crumpets have also shared the stage with King Gizzard, Dune Rats, Black Mountain and Skegss.


Ahead of their headlining performance at Badlands Bar's first birthday, PPC member Jack McEwan explains how their grandparents created psychedelic porn crumpets back in the '60s.

What does a psychedelic porn crumpet taste like? Can you serve it to your nana?
[Jack McEwan] Our grandparents conceived it back in the '60s and now we perceive it again 50 years on. It never goes off. You can share it forever and it effectively enhances great times.

I've done 1,000+ interviews… you never ask about a band name's origins (NEVER)… but I'm intrigued. Tell me about the origins of Psychedelic Porn Crumpets? Surely a foodie-meets-dominatrix [wet]dream of sorts?
The band started out as my uni-branding project. I wanted it to sound absurd and nonsensical, but as colourful as possible so I could create some outlandish designs.

They let me roll with it and then my friend Tim Meakins told me to put some music to it, so I wrote 'Marmalade March', 'Cubensis Lenses' then 'Cornflake' and quite quickly after that got the band together.



'High Visceral, Pt. 2' is the current album… still enjoying this cycle of songs or have you guys moved on to the next batch of tracks for the back catalogue?
For our live set, we mix up between tracks from 'Part One' and 'Two' and throw in a couple of b-sides from those albums. We've started working on new material and the third album is in the works.

I've been playing a lot of acoustic guitar lately and meandering around this Grizzly Bear emotional stuff. It's not going on the third album and I don't really know what to use them for as it would be weird cutting out of 'Ergophobia' and then hearing harps and flutters of flutes. They're catalogued anyway, so it might be ten years or six months till they come out. but for now they rest patiently in a Mac's memory.

The album overall, with time to reflect are you happy with the final result?
Yeah, I think it capped off the 'High Visceral' series nicely. We wanted to come out and show we've got diversity, which I think we achieved. Right now it's left space to produce anything for the third album which for a writer is a dream, not being tied to one genre and having the freedom to either write a ten-minute opus or a thirty second heavy-metal track (both have been recorded) then see if it has a place on the new album or cry knowing it'll never be heard.

Allowing time and space to think ahead while keeping it interesting was the overall plan and I'm really happy with the new tracks we're writing. If 'Part One' and 'Two' didn't have the response it did I would imagine a third album may have never been conceived.



'Dependant On Mary'… a song about Catholic faith, surely (said with a wry grin lads)?
Yeah. It's definitely a preaching song. I suppose it could have gone either way really while writing that track. I did genuinely find god in a tomato though, that is 100 per cent true and I still think about it. Drugs terrify me now. I used to enjoy a nice adventure, but now I feel like I'm going to tear through the fabric of space and be lost forever.

Or like half my arm just morphs its atoms into an umbrella 'cause a traffic light changed the exact time a bee flew by and it perfectly resonated the light/ sound mash-up into enough vibrations that my arm changes structure. I enjoy golf now.

Rest of 2017… what's in the works re: shows/ tours/ endorsements etc?
We're heading 'round the country again in late August to promote our new record label What Reality? Records which is a dream, playing shows and producing vinyl, sign me up. We're playing Badlands 4 August for their 1st birthday big bash which will be massive, cheap beers, Foam, Moana, Flossy and Wooly Mammoth. I can't give too much away but it's exciting times in camp Crumpet.

The current crop of WA acts… who has taken your fancy this year?
Western Kinsmen of the Sun have really impressed me, I think they're amazing. Foams new album was great. Demon Days are a treat to watch, Yomi Ship are incredible, they're like barely 18 and making the maddest experimental grooves, they remind me of Mudlark who were one of my favourite Perth bands. Marlinspike, Fuzz Toads, Southern River Band, toooooo many to mention. There's some good cookies around.

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What band would Psychedelic Porn Crumpets like to create fictional musical babies with? Ie. go on tour/ collaborate with?
Mars Volta is the dream. I'd probably cry the whole time I'm with them if that ever happened. King Gizzard would be another dream band to tour with. I'd love to collaborate with Floating Points, reckon we could make some mean tunes. My brain's firing off names, way too many flying through the ol' tank. Deerhunter, Flying Lotus, Sleep, Chaz Bundick Meets the Mattson 2.

The band are headlining Badlands first birthday shin-dig; what do you lads have planned for the evening? Confetti cannon please.
Confetti canon would be cool; imagine the staff seeing that go off and then a second later realising it's their job to clean that up; that's all I think like now after working in a bar – who's going to mop that pint up you just threw into the crowd, scoundrel! We'll have visuals up for all the bands and some cool lights. Moana is going to look mad with all that going on. I'll probably dress up, in fact it's now Indian circa18th century space-themed so I'm feeling patterns, bright colours, tigers.

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Best birthday party memory you can relay to our readers without arousing the suspicions of the AFP?
For my cousin Luke's 7th birthday he was on the trampoline and bounced so high he never came back.

Eagles, Dockers or (surely not) other?
Luke (Mediterranean Features) Rinaldo loves his footy, he's Dockers all day long; blue blood that boy.

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets Dates

Fri 4 Aug - Badlands Bar 1st Birthday (Perth)
Thu 24 Aug - The Brightside (Brisbane)
Fri 25 Aug - The Chippo Hotel (Sydney)
Sat 26 Aug - The Curtin Band Room (Melbourne)
Fri 22 Sep - Amplifier Bar (Perth)

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