Sunnyboys member Jeremy Oxley, and his wife Mary, have set out to prove that love can really conquer all.
Jeremy Oxley was diagnosed with schizophrenia aged 22, at the height of his fame as singer of the popular 1980s band Sunnyboys. Terrified and in denial, he tried to hide his diagnosis from family, band mates and friends, who attributed his erratic and sometimes terrifying behaviour to drug and alcohol abuse. This diagnosis resulted in a long downward spiral, resulting in 25 years of struggling.
Sunnyboys fan, Mary Griffiths, was a nurse who had been widowed for five years with young twin boys. After being shocked to discover how Jeremy was living, she and her sons were determined to find him and help him. At their first meeting, Mary was able to see through Jeremy's illness and recognise signs of the sensitive, beautiful and frightened man within. Her boys instantly loved him and he in turn was immediately calm around them.
Last month the duo released their autobiography, 'Here Comes The Sun', which delves into the story of their journey, spanning from childhood to when Sunnyboys were recently reunited at the Sydney Opera House.The book will highlight their triumph over tragedy, and Jeremy and Mary hope it will serve as a beacon of hope for other families and young people who are struggling with mental illness. “When 'The Sunnyboy' film came out in 2013, some publishing houses sent agents to watch the film and we were contacted to see if we were interested in writing a book about it. Luckily I love writing and that had always been an idea for me anyway, so I jumped at the chance to do that and put things in our own words,” Mary says.
“Mental illness has always been an issue that has labelled people ... it's always been a subject that has been very difficult for people to talk about. Jeremy was unmedicated and basically not really helped for 25 years, and for somebody who was so great at such a young age and had such a promising career, for that to strike and there not to be adequate support and services around at that stage, people just didn't know what to do.
"He basically travelled in the wilderness for 25 years and he could have been using that time a lot more productively had he been able to have access to correct help. It breaks my heart to think that that is happening to other families with other young people, so it's really important to de-stigmatise mental health issues so that we can all get in together and help each other.”
The book shows how strong the pair's love is, and the positive affect it has had on Jeremy's journey to recovery. It was because of Mary's love and support that Jeremy was able to find the help he needed. “I find she inspires me... She's done things that I needed to do, and she makes my life bearable,” Jeremy says. “I've found a soul mate, a soul companion, and she makes me laugh... She fights for me."
“We're very lucky that we've found each other because we get along really well and I suppose as well as being married, we're best friends,” adds Mary.
“We talk a lot – we spend most of our time talking and going through stuff and putting things back into perspective and wondering what we're going to do next... Apart from the medication, the stability of having someone support him and look after his health and just be with him was a key part of Jeremy's recovery. That's really where a lot of other people with mental health illnesses fall down because they don't have someone that constant in their life.”
Jeremy and Mary look forward to sharing their story of love, struggle, hope and triumph with people who are dealing with similar situations. “It's really great to know our journey has given hope to other families that are going through the same sort of thing.”
Jeremy and Mary launch 'Here Comes The Sun' instore at Avid Reader Brisbane on 6 July.
