Bert Kreischer Likes To Party: The Machine Makes His Way Down Under

Bert Kreischer brings his 'Body Shots' world tour to Australia in June.
Senior Writer.
A seasoned all-rounder music writer and storyteller with a specialised interest in the history of rock.

His name is Bert Kreischer, but you may now him better as 'The Machine'. Either way, he's coming to Australia and you better be ready to laugh.

Bert is partying personified. Why else would he spend seven years at university earning himself the title of “the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country,” as dubbed by Rolling Stone?

So legendary are Bert's college years, his story became the inspiration for the 2002 comedy film 'Van Wilder' starring Ryan Reynolds. Seriously.

Bert will be bringing the good times to Australia with his 'Body Shots' world tour, and we catch up with him beforehand for a chat.

How has the 'Body Shots' world tour been going so far?
The 'Body Shots' world tour has been a dream come true – before I even got into this business I always wanted to be on a tour bus traveling from city to city like all these bands I loved growing up. I know that what I do is nothing compared to them, but being on a tour bus with friends and a tour manager and pulling into backstage hours before showtime, pouring yourself a cocktail and walking out on stage is the closest I’ll ever get. Way better than I ever could’ve imagined as a kid.

What can Australian audiences expect from your show this time around?
Same Bert, new material, a little fatter, and partying after the shows.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Australia?

What are Australians like as audience members?
Australians as audience members quite honestly might be the best in the world. They’ve got the same sense of humor and playfulness as Canadians but with none of the snobbery towards America, they’re smaller than Americans but I’m not sure if they know that, they’ve grown more than the Brits in my opinion.

The best thing about being Bert Kreischer is...?
No one ever gets pissed off when I’m drunk.

The whole 'Russian mafia' thing aside, what's the craziest stunt you've ever pulled in the name of having a good time?
I filled the house with sand, created a pool inside it, filled it with reptiles and barnyard animals and thought that would be the perfect surprise for the perfect partygoers, I didn’t anticipate people bringing cocaine to the party and things went off the rails pretty quickly.

Who are some people who make you laugh, and why?
I like gigglers. Anyone who likes to giggle is someone I love being around. Gigglers like Tom Segura, Todd Glass, Sal Vulcano, Colin Quinn make me laugh hard as f...!

Your best-ever party experience?
I would say one of the best party experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life was in 1995 on the island of Corfu at the Pink Palace. I wrote about it in my book 'Life Of The Party' and the editor wouldn’t put it in because he didn’t believe it. Swear to you on my children in the middle of this amazing Euro trash party in Greece, a man named George came out with a stack full of plates and proceeded to break them on the partygoers heads, mine included. I was sitting with the comedy group called The State from the US who alongside me had numerous plates broken over their heads. We were in togas and a bunch of us swam out to a boat naked and ended up on a rock in the middle of the ocean until the next morning drinking, listening to The Offspring and jumping off 90 foot cliffs. If you get a chance go to the Pink Palace in Corfu – I promise you will have the exact same experience and you’ll never forget about it.

Your worst-ever party experience?
Any children’s birthday party that they don’t serve alcohol at.

Your plans for the rest of 2019?
Lose weight, podcast, tighten up this hour, shoot another special, tour like non stop... Oh yeah, and spend some quality time with my family.

Bert Kreischer Australia Tour 2019

Thu 20 Jun - Enmore Theatre (Sydney)
Sun 22 Jun - Arts Centre Melbourne
Wed 26 Jun - Astor Theatre (Perth)
29-30 Jun - The Tivoli Theatre (Brisbane)

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