Like a fresh blow-dry direct from the '80s accompanied by shoulder pads and horn-rimmed glasses, Brisbane synth-pop project Action Slacks newest single, 'Rapid Fire', is dripping in nostalgia feels.
An electric energy pulsates throughout the song with super-polished production creating a hypnotic rhythm (clicking yours hands side to side while shrugging, rolling your shoulders anyone?).
The quartet of Levi Russell, Maddy Thompson, Jimmy Harden and Rich Prendergast wrote 'Rapid Fire' last year while contemplating when they'd ever get back together as a group.
"It was mid-COVID lockdown and we had no idea when we would be able to get together as a band again. I think this song was what got us through lockdown."
Here, the band divulge a listicle that's likely to divide Australia; what side of the Heinz-SPC fence do you reside on?
"If I've learned anything over the last 12 months," Action Slacks says, "it's that meaningless opinions framed as facts are paramount to reinforcing dumb ideas, and tinned spaghetti continues it's 26-year reign of best cupboard snack when nothing else is available.
"Below is an exhaustive list of the top 5 tinned spaghetti flavours that were available in my cupboard, and local IGA."
1: SPC Rich Tomato Spaghetti
The sauce delicately balances the acidity and saltiness you’d expect from tinned spaghetti, with some subtle sweetness. The pasta noodles have a perfect consistency and if it wasn't for the fact that this is tinned spaghetti heated in a microwave for one and a half minutes, you'd almost believe it was al dente.
Each spoonful of this scarlet sauce causes a brief hypnotic dream of a loving chef pouring their soul into each tin. It's no wonder SPC Rich Tomato has dominated our discerning palette for decades.
2: Heinz Spaghetti In Tomato Sauce
Many of my contemporaries would fervently disagree that Heinz is ranked below SPC. To those who disagree I say – too bad, it's my list.
Heinz fails where SPC excels: its sauce is lacking in consistency (perhaps water has been used as a filler) and the pasta noodles are soggy, leaving much to be desired. Despite the unfavourable mouth feel, the tomato sauce is rich in flavour and on the savoury side, which leaves for a pleasing finish.
3: SPC Spag-A-Saurus: Tomato & Cheese
It's dinosaur pasta. If you need this explained, this article isn't for you.
4: SPC Baked Beans: Rich Tomato
I know what you're thinking – this is a tinned spaghetti list, not a 'tinned miscellaneous carbohydrate smothered in sugar filled tomato based sauce' list.
However, it is my view that no tinned spaghetti ranking will be complete without mention of baked beans. They paved the way for us tinned spaghetti connoisseurs, proving that people want their sauce 'n carb foods tinned. The logical step forward was of course canning spaghetti.
5: Black and Gold Spaghetti in Tomato Sauce
Yes, baked beans should not technically even have qualified, and they definitely should not have beaten a legitimate spaghetti in this list.
The issues with this spaghetti are two fold: the pasta and the sauce. The pasta itself has been prematurely shortened, with the noodles being about a third of the size of a regular tinned spaghetti strand. The sauce is incredibly watery and sugary (approx 9g of sugar per serving, compared to 4-5g for the others).
Overall I would avoid this spaghetti. Would anyone like the rest of this tin?