The third season of ABC2’s documenatry series, ‘Opening Shot’, returns on Monday 10th November.
The series provides a platform for young, Australian filmmakers to showcase their talents across a diverse range of confronting topics. First cab off the rank is 'Gaycrashers', where gay comedians Rhys Nicholson and Joel Creasey confront the prejudices of a rural Victorian township – Colac – that was the subject a homophobic scandal three years ago.
Rhys Interviews Joel
Oh hiya Joel. It's so nice to talk to you. Ok, first question, what's the question you hate the most in these Q&As? Mine is: ‘How did you get started in comedy?’Yeah I hate that question. Or ‘when did you realise you're funny’. Such a hard question to answer without sounding like an asshole. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN FUNNY!!!
How did you get started in comedy?
Fuck you Rhys. I started the same way as you I think – doing RAW Comedy for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. You made the national finals. I only made the state finals. Wah!
The week we had in Colac was like having our own reality show. If you had a reality show, what would you call it and why? I think mine would be called ‘Diva-ing Under The Influence’.
I like yours! Mine would be called ‘Eating Cheese And Facebook-Stalking Ugly Ex-Boyfriends On The Couch’.
What's the best thing someone has yelled at you from a moving car?
Someone asked if they could have a photo with me the other day as they were DRIVING down Chapel St. I had to run over to them while they were stopped behind the tram, stick my head in the window and take the photo. That's the best. The worst was: “YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO WALK". No idea if I was a. in their way b. walking like a homo or c. they genuinely worked for a place that rehabilitated people who had been in severe accidents and needed to learn how to walk again.
We filmed a lot in Colac and a bunch of stuff had to be edited out. What is your favourite thing we did that doesn't appear in the program?
Spreading a rumour around the town that the gorgeous mayor, Lyn, was an alcoholic. Either that or playing for the local, cricket team because it turns out I'm rather good at cricket. Dad would've been stoked.
Do you think you'll ever got back to Colac?
In every other interview I've said YES, ABSOLUTELY!! But now that it's just you and I chatting – no way lady.
What do you like most about me? I like my warm and giving nature.
Your naked body.
Who would win in a fight between Julie Bishop and Harold Bishop?
I wish every interview featured this question. I think Julie would win ultimately. But I feel like there'd be loads of sexual tension first. A bit 'Mr And Mrs Smith'. They'd have sex mid-fight FOR. SURE. Julie's a turbo top.
In Colac we found out you are very good at cricket. Is it true you're not even gay?
I honestly think I might be bi-sexual. I had a sex dream about a woman recently. Adam Richard has said I'm straight for years.
Do you want to have lunch soon?
Yes! Liquid lunch?
Joel Interviews Rhys
Hi Rhys! What have you eaten today?Joel, you know I haven't officially eaten since 1998. It's a little rude you asked. Today I looked at a vanilla slice for 45 minutes, felt bloated and threw it out.
You know I'm good at cooking. It's my only skill. But your boyfriend, Kyran, is a pretty good cook too. Truthfully, who's better?
It's annoying to say it, but I think you are on equal ground. He is a little bit of a better cook, but since you refuse to wear a thread of clothing while in the kitchen, it's more of an experience.
Stop talking about food alright! When was the last time you had a bad gig? Like a, ‘I'm quitting stand-up comedy’ type gig?
Last year I performed at a show with a capacity of 250 seats, with 14 people sitting in them. The MC brought me onto the stage with the wrong name and after ten minutes of absolute stoney-judgey silence I heard a woman say: “Well, I think I'm ready to go home now”. We work in show business.
I've been out drinking with you. You get recognised quite a bit. What do you get recognised the most from?
Most of the time it's my YouPorn.com videos. Other than that it’s my hours and hours of award-winning comedy. Oh and I was in a show once called ‘Balls Of Steel’. While being the highest-rating show on the Comedy Channel ever, the Sydney Morning Herald called it ‘aggressively-bad comedy’. Good times.
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
Make her marry an abusive army captain with a sweet-singing voice and problems with intimacy.
Ok. So I should probably ask about Colac. In all honesty, would you feel safe moving to Colac on your own?
I really think I would. I'd need to keep myself busy. Maybe open a little craft shop called Rhys' Pieces. I'd marry a local lesbian and we'd run the regional-rep theatre. I'll direct and design the costumes, she rigs the lights. Bliss.
The dairy farmer in Colac, Oliver, was a hot piece of ass. Would Kyran give you a hall pass to get it on with Oliver?
Milk can be pretty expensive, and Kyran sure does like a glass of fresh milk. Hmmmm.
Now that we've conquered Colac, where should we go next?
Vatican City. The tension on screen would be... Pope-able. Get it? I made a joke.
Ok. Enough questions about Colac. Who is your favourite Australian drag queen and why?
Well I'm a big fan of Sydney's Dallas Dellaforce. Follow that lady on Instagram pronto. Also, who could you go wrong with our friend Summer Salt. Bitch has game.
Which of our peers in the comedy community do you hate most? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?
Rhys Nicholson.
