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Spoiler alert. . . Obviously.
Sometimes when this show opens I forget I’m watching ‘Big Brother’ and feel like I’m watching some kind of drama film with the panning shots, wind howling and string music, yikes, take it down a notch.
Guess who’s back. Back again. Sophie’s back. Don’t tell Mat and Dan. Oh. Too late they already know and they’re moping around the house like sore losers. The fact a powerful woman is making them feel like this is all the more satisfying to be completely honest.
Dan thinks that if he can ‘come back’ from it, it will be one of the ‘all-time comebacks ever’. Dan. . . I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think a dude recovering from a female returning to an Australian reality competition is going to make the Guinness Book Of Records.
At the end of the day, Australia votes for who they want to win out of the top three. Do we really want one of these grown up sooks with an extra $200K in their pocket? Sophie’s loving the way she’s made them feel because it means she can get fully focused on what’s coming next.
Big Brother gives the housemates what they’ve been wanting for a long time – a dog. Banjo. But he gives it to them for all of ONE hour which isn’t fun it’s just complete and utter torture. Whose dog is this? Honestly just take it away. Forever or not at all, for goodness sake. Yes I mentioned in previous recaps that the stakes weren’t high enough but giving these deprived people a dog for ONE HOUR is just horrible.
I’m not ashamed to say I got a little bit emotional what of it I’m a dog person and I would die for Banjo. Mat doesn’t care about Banjo. No, like he literally says he doesn’t care. Australia, if you let this man win. . . You won’t hear the last of it from me.
Me when someone asks me about Mat.
So yes this is precious and I’m melting. And then he has to go and suddenly the world is dark again.
Even Dan is done with Mat’s sulky sh.t which is hilarious. Not even his best bud in the house can sit and sook with him. At least Dan’s still feeling it and still determined.
Meanwhile, Sophie’s providing us with a drinking game by kicking off her “I always had two dreams” speech. No seriously, take a drink every time she says that in this episode, I guarantee you’ll be plastered by the end of it. Sidenote, can we talk about how Sophie’s first dream was to go and compete in the Olympics, and her second dream was to be a contestant on an Australian reality show that hasn’t even been popular enough to air for the last six years? What’s her third dream? To star in the next ‘Sex & The City’ movie?
Today’s episode is pretty challenge heavy. There are two main challenges today. The first has them running up and down stairs and constantly keeping a funnel of grain as full as possible as it spills out of the bottom. The first housemate with an empty funnel is automatically up for eviction. So no one really ‘wins’ this one, so to speak. . . You just have to stay in. Sophie’s got a disadvantage because she’s returned to the house. Her funnel will start with less grain.
Oh – and because Mat didn’t use his power in the last episode, he gets two votes in the nomination process if he’s voting, and one even if he’s nominated.
The housemates sweat a lot during this challenge. It’s a bit of a cardio/leg workout. Sophie’s become very focused and a little bit psychotic. But it makes for great television.
Sarah’s the first out, which means she’s up for eviction. Sophie is still going even though the challenge is over and Big Brother literally has to tell her to stop.
With Sarah out for the next challenge, Big Brother’s getting all clever and talking about how it’s ‘romance vs bromance’ and I want to vomit in my mouth.
Sophie is telling us a really compelling story about how ‘Big Brother’ is one of her dre— HANG ON A SECOND. I’ve heard this before. TAKE A DRINK!
Okay. Now she’s talking about how one of her dreams was to be on— wait what?! She literally just said this ten seconds ago. DRINK!
How do I describe this next challenge. . . Hmm. You know that scene in ‘Titanic’ where Jack and Rose are trying to open a door with a set of keys while the water fills up around them? Yeah it’s that. Where’s the credit to James Cameron. I don’t see it.
“HURRY JACK!”
Basically they’re all lying in a giant container, each housemate has five padlocks to unlock with a set of keys that will open a hatch for them to escape the rising water.
The winner will get the power to nominate a second housemate for eviction. Sophie has six padlocks instead of five because Big Brother is continuing to give her disadvantages for returning(?).
Chad gets all his padlocks unlocked and escapes. The other three drown and Chad and Sarah decide they’re in love and split the winner’s prize money. The credits roll. That was a great season.
Nah. Joking. The losers are let out and Chad picks Mat to go up for eviction. That means Mat only has one vote instead of two, so there’s a very slight chance that Mat will go home, pretty much depending on how Dan votes.
Mat is refusing to pack his bag and far out just be a good sport lordy.
Sarah tries to convince Dan to keep her around. She compliments his cooking which is a good place to start. Then she tries to convince him to go forward with a strategic mindset.
It’s eviction time and Mat’s in his Sunday best flanny, shorts and Converse. Faaahncy.
Sonia straight up fires shots at Sophie by saying “Chad you were probably the one person who was really happy to see Sophie”. . . *airhorn noises*
Also she’s giving me “I fake-tanned the wrong arm” Kath Day-Knight vibes.
“Hold on. . . Turn the top around.”
Mat is asked to describe Sophie returning and he asks “is there anything worse than a nightmare?” LOL
Blah blah blah Sonia quizzing them, blah blah blah voting, you know the drill. Sarah is voted out and now it really is “romance vs bromance”. The vomit is coming up. Bye Sarah. WE LOVE YOU
