Devil's Night
Alex has discovered Holden is indeed alive (of a sort) and has taken her son back home, but the boy declares he’s thirsty. Alex, apparently not noticing the jolt of eerie music when he said 'thirsty', gets him some juice some the kitchen, only to find Holden has helped himself to the dog’s arteries. He says he wants to see 'his other mommy.' Countess Gaga. The Countess explains she was saving Holend from a life of 'neglect' – a definite dig at John.
The Countess was indeed in Santa Monica that day, apparently just scoping out children by the merry-go-round while clad head-to-toe in black. One would think John, a DETECTIVE, would have noticed somebody in an outfit appropriate for a funeral hanging around on a sunny day in California. Gaga apparently just strolled off with the boy on the sands of California.
Quick note: the flashback also uncovers the brief phone conversation that made John step away from the merry-go-round. There’s no way that conversation and who he was talking to won’t be important later, right?
Alex pulls out a gun; the Countess better cure her son right now. Her Gaganess is unfazed. She says Holden can’t be cured, but she can allow Alex a way to live with her son for all eternity, provided Alex pledges her undying loyalty. The desperate mother bolts, but Gaga knows she’ll be back.
Meanwhile, John is struggling with reality and his own demons. The fact Scarlet is choosing to spend Devil’s Night and Halloween with her Grandma instead of him isn’t helping. What really isn’t helping is the ever-increasing pool of blood dripping onto John from the floor above.The culprit is Ms. Evers, who is cleaning perpetually blood-soiled bed sheets. Her son was kidnapped on Halloween. The mention of a stolen child makes John forget about to the mass of human fluid, and he listens to her. Ms. Evers, otherwise known as Hazel, was once a mother in 1925. She forced her son to go trick-or-greeting in a bedsheet as a ghost. The boy was taken while she wasn’t looking and he became a victim of the Wineville Chicken Coop Murders – a real-life horrible event. Hazel was devastated – though if her boy was taken from her by a serial killer, how did she end up becoming the loyal right-hand of a sociopath like Mr. March?
Hazel ends her story to continue preparing for her master’s annual Devil’s Night dinner party. John, who apparently forgot why he came up in the first place, leaves and heads to the hotel’s bar, where he meets serial killer Aileen Wuornos (frequent AHS stand-out Lily Rabe), an actual (deceased) murderer. Assuming she’s in a Halloween get-up, he's seduced by her, utterly sealing John the win for Dumbest TV Character Of The Year.
Wouldn’t you know it, the woman really is Wuornos, who ties John to a chair, prompting his magnificent line, “I’m tied to a chair!” He escapes and threatens to call the police, but once again, he completing discards what he was doing when Liz Taylor tells him he has been invited to March’s Devil Night’s party.
Donning a suit instead of arresting the woman who nearly murdered him, John meets March and his ghostly guests, a who-who of infamous American beasts: Wuornos, Jeffrey Dahmer (Seth Gabel), Richard Ramirez (Anthony Ruivivar), the Zodiac Killer, and John Wayne Gacy (John Carroll Lynch). They get John drunk with absinth and cuff him to a chair – no “I’m cuffed to a chair!” response from him though, sadly.
Quick note: Lynch has completed a self-referential hat trick, since Gacy’s profession was of a clown, and Lynch portrayed Twisty The Clown in 'Freak Show' last year. Lynch also once played an actual man who was suspected of being the Zodiac Killer in 2007’s 'Zodiac'. It’s probably been years since the poor guy was invited to a birthday party.
March brings out a shirtless man for Dahmer to play with. Dahmer grooves to some party music while drilling a hole into the man’s brain, which is not a sentence I’d get to write if I were doing a recap on 'Modern Family'. Johns tries to shoot the cannibal, but as he points out, they’re already dead. Turns out all the killers had taken trips to the Cortez while they were alive to study under March, who they call 'The Master'. March is disappointed in John, saying he was potential; is this a hint John might be the Ten Commandments killer and he’s unaware of it? It wouldn’t necessarily be the most absurd thing that has happened on this show. Heck, considering the featureless drill-bit dildo monster from Hotel’s first episode, a John-is-the-killer twist arguably wouldn’t even be the most ridiculous thing to happen this season.
Sally brings in a druggie as 'dessert' for this merry band of murderers. March proposes a toast to his guest, saying they had achieved the American dream having gained fame after their slaughters. “Johnny Deep said he likes my paintings!” Gacy beams.
Just as 'Freak Show' did, with all of its talk of freaks and TV performers as entertainment, it appears 'Hotel' will also be questioning what we do with our free time.
As the monsters dig their knives into the victim, John wakes up in a dark room with Sally by his side. She says she simply found him there wailing to himself. She says it was all a dream, and takes him up to his room – however, it appears March’s part is just in the next room.
Finally, Alex comes back to the Countess; she wants to be with Holden forever, and is willing to be a blood-cursed servant to Gaga for it. After a little bloodletting and a single kiss, it is done. Alex is now a not-vampire. I can’t imagine John and Scarlett are going to be thrilled about this.
What did you think? Let us know in the comments!
