After a period of self-imposed exile, Jackie Marshall, aka the Peppercorn Queen has returned to the stage with a buoyant EP.
Before she hits the road for a July tour, Jackie shares her top 5 tips to successful hitchhilking.
“Ivan Milat is in jail and ‘Wolf Creek’ IS JUST A MOVIE. Be on-trend with this tres environmentally-friendly, socially stimulating and budget-friendly mode of travel.”
PERSONAL GROOMING
Before you get going for the day, do consider your appearance and aroma. Try not to stink, this is just polite. And you will find it tough going getting a ride wearing anything your nanna might find a bit tough going too. Meanwhile, if you are wearing shorts pitched higher than your vagina, you are sending THE WRONG MESSAGE. Mind you, I once had a towie pull over and offer me 50 bucks for a blow job while I was decked out in dungarees and dredlocks. Go figure!
SAFETY IN NUMBERS
Obviously, it’s a good idea to buddy-up when hitching. I don’t know if it really lessens your chances of a ride re: the whole takes-up-an-extra-seat thing. I do however recall waiting for a ride on the side of a road near Murwillumbah with a guy who looked like Grizzly Adams for about five hours once. Some locals even came and did some comedy circlework on the gravel easement we were waiting on. So I guess, pick someone to travel with who doesn’t look like a scary woodsman, or you could be waiting a while.
BE A GOOD GUEST
Some rides want to chat, some just pick you up for the vibrational company. Some do it because it’s something to do. Tip: don’t visibly flip out at scary driving. Some dudes get off on this and you will pay with even more sketchy wheelwork. AT ALL TIMES KEEP COOL. And, yes, I do have lovely breasts. Did your mum teach you to compliment so nicely? She must be a real lady. You can politely refuse food, drinks, smokes, drugs. Although I did score a top shelf sheet of acid one trip [sic] in 1996, which made the Brett Whitely retrospective in Sydney I was heading to a hell of a lot more interesting.
TRUCKS
While just about any easement or intersections with enough room for a jalopy to pullover will do for a wait, if you gotta get somewhere fast, trucks are where it’s at. They are also your safest option – they gotta be somewhere, on time. Yes it is illegal to ride in trucks. Yes you will still score a ride in a truck faster than you can say Diabetes type 2. Bonus round: truckie cafes have free coffee and SHOWERS which can really lift a girl’s spirits on a long haul. Also, it’s no secret, that truckies have the best lollies in the business. Party!
SIGNS ARE USELESS
Not only that, they make you an easy target. Sure, I’m going to Lismore too. Do you mind if we take a detour past my brother’s farm? I promised him I’d drop in for a bit. Could go either way sunshine. No to signs. Stand in the direction you are headed. Ask the driver where they’re going before they can get a word in, especially if you’re alone. Stay positive, trust your intuition, and don’t never be afraid to say yah, sorry dude, I wanna get a ride going further than that.
PEPPERCORN QUEEN TOUR DATES
Fri Jul 4 - Dowse Bar (Brisbane)Sun Jul 6 - Bohemian Bungalow (Eumundi)
Thu Jul 10 - Brighton Up Bar (Sydney)
Fri Jul 11 - The Carrington Bowls Club (Newcastle)
Sun Jul 13 - Junkyard (Maitland)
Thu Jul 17 - The Bridge Hotel (Castlemaine)
Fri Jul 18 - Main Bar (Bendigo)
Sun Jul 20 - Northcote Social Club (Melbourne)
Thu Jul 31 - High Tea (Sydney)
Sun Aug 3 - The Co-Op Club (Church Point)
