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5 Celebrity Beards That Would Make Great Beds

Gandalf

Emerging Sydney comicbook artist, Nicky Minus has followed up her last comic, ‘Jerks’, with a new book of comics called ‘Pleasure’.


The 24-year-old’s comics focus on obscure sexual fetishes and the perverted fantasies of herself and her friends, drawing on the comic book traditions of Robert Crumb and Daniel Clowes. “My last book of comics were short stories played out in hyper bright watercolours. This time round the comics are all done in black and white and are more racy and perverted than ever [I hope!.”  

When asked to supply a Top 5 list on anything, Nicky exceeded expectations by selecting the five celebrity beards that would make great beds.

Gandalf

The first dude who ever had his tongue in my mouth was Ian McKellen, who I stalked at a theatre opening when I was 12. I was crying totally hardcore ‘cos I loved Gandalf so much that he pity semi-made out with me. I’d like to take this relationship to the next level and see what kind of exciting things could happen if I stayed over night in Gandalf’s beard.

Matthew Barney

The Cremaster Cycle is a total fuck-off, fright fest that is also insanely amazing and disgusting. Staying over night in Barney’s beard would probably be like spending the night with the arthouse version of Freddy Krueger. Also, him and Bjork just broke up so it would be a good chance to try and swoop in and become his next GF (possibility for success — slim to none).

Elaine Benes

She’s the gay beard for that random one-off character in one episode of ‘Seinfeld’, so that’s all I need to be able to say that I’d like to sleep inside Elaine’s face and somehow become a part of the ‘Seinfeld’ team.

Male Twit from The Twits

Roald Dahl’s ‘The Twits’ were some derro folk. Mr Twit was notorious for always having edible shit stuck in his beard, so staying over night in that would be amazing for if I ever wanted to get in on a midnight snack vibe. Nothing like snacking on a bit of dried-up egg stuck in someone’s beard.

Tom Hanks in Castaway

Only throwing him onto this list ‘cos I feel sorry for T.Hanks as he’s a total loser and ‘Castaway’ is a total loser film, and it might make him feel nice to know that some loser from some loser place added him to a meaningless list of loser crap.

You can view more of Nicky’s work here.

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