In yet another chapter showcasing our ability to make the mundane the centre of the known internet-verse with a social media meltdown, the decision by Bunnings to place onions underneath the snag (instead of on top) at their iconic sausage sizzles (to eliminate a slippage hazard) continues to trend unabated.
Nova's Fitzy has entered the Onion Gate debate, voicing his displeasure by reading an open letter this morning on air.
“To whom it may concern, I’m writing on the behalf of the concerned, the millions of Aussies who flood through your door every day to pick up some extra wire for the whipper snipper and mysteriously leave with a hedger, a blower, and a ride-on mower that we don’t even need.
“We trust in you every day to drain our credit balance; now it’s your turn to trust in us. “A vital staple in the Australian diet is a snag on some fresh white bread, with a sprinkling of burnt, caramelised onion on top with a dollop of sauce. For some reason that basic, yet effective, recipe tastes better at your stores.
“You are known for it. It defines you and it sets you apart from stores like Mitre 10 and Masters (RIP, still waiting for a sale).
“So why, why would you entertain the idea of bowing down to bureaucrats and safety officers to change the order of a recipe that doesn’t need to be fixed?
“I don’t care if people slip on an onion; I’d love to slip on an onion. If our former Prime Minister Tony Abbott can chomp down on a raw onion, why can’t I tear a hamstring on some succulent, caramelised onion that has fallen off some hardworking Aussie’s sanga?
“This is your turn to fight, Bunnings, to say no the naysayers and represent this great nation that represents your share prices. This is your turn to look them in the eye and say, ‘Onion bike!’”
Another to voice their 'concern' was Today show co-host Karl Stefanovic: “Bunnings, you’ve done a lot of things right. But, I’m sorry, you’ve got this one wrong. You don’t mess with perfection.”
Seems Bunnings needs to add chill pills to their sizzle food menu with the social outrage currently dominating the Australian landscape… if only this same level of passion was shown toward life's real-world issues.
