John Howard — former Liberal Prime Minister and staunch constitutional monarchist — thinks Tony Abbott's decision to reinstate imperial honours is a little much, you guys.
Howard told the Australian Financial Review (AFR) that he would probably not accept a knighthood if he was offered one, and that his views on knights and dames hadn't changed since he called the honours "somewhat anachronistic" in his autobiography, 'Lazarus Rising'.
"Despite urging from a number of people, I did not restore knighthoods," he wrote in the 2010 book. "For me, this was an on-balance decision as in some respects the knighthood system, properly applied, was a way of giving special recognition to certain people.
"I knew, however, that I had other fish to fry, and as a strong supporter of the constitutional monarchy continuing in Australia, I did not wish to be seen to reviving an honour which to many, even conservative Australians, was somewhat anachronistic."
Howard stressed to AFR that he didn't want to be critical of Tony Abbott; his views are just less conservative than Tony Abbott's, that's all. Nothing terrifying about that, right?
Abbott didn't take his knights and dames policy to the partyroom for discussion, leading Malcolm Turnbull — the Liberal party member it's okay for progressives to like — to mock the move.
Speaking at a Free TV launch event, The Sydney Morning Herald reports that Turnbull joked the move had taken Australia back to 1983 — the last time knights and dames were appointed, and the year Daryl Somers won the Gold Logie. "Is it really so long ago?"
Turnbull, a noted republican, stretched mightily to justify to his fellow republicans that the reintroduction of imperial honours shouldn't be seen as a "monarchical move".
"After all, there are many distinguished republics that have knights in their honours system — Guatemala, for example, Peru, Argentina, Brazil. France and Italy, I mean they are two of the most disntinguished republics. So anyone who thinks this is some kind of slap to the republicans is really misjudging the Prime Minister's commitment to looking after all Australians and bringing us all together."
Labor has, naturally, had a field day with the Game Of Tones during Question Time — Christopher Pyne's approach to the despatch box was met with calls of "Rise, my lady!" from the Labor benches, and when Speaker Bronwyn Bishop called out a Labor MP for interjecting, fellow Labor MP Michael Danby yelled out: "Execute him!"
In a speech in the Senate on Tuesday night, Labor Senator Sam Dastyari sarcastically supported the move, saying he could "think of no more important policy for our realm right now".
"Friends," he added, "together we will stop the moats."
