What do you do when you're need to get a semen sample to the Dr, but there's no area in the clinic to service yourself and you're stuck in a meeting with Warner Bros.? You pleasure yourself on the drive there!
Dax Shepard revealed to Jimmy Kimmel recently that he's recently had a vasectomy – much to the displeasure of wife, Kristen Bell.
“Last year, when my wife was working in Atlanta, we were there and she all of a sudden goes, ‘oh, my gosh! I’m so stupid. I’ve been sick for 10 days and ignoring it. I’m definitely pregnant'... I was like, ‘we already have no life! This is going to be not worth living.’”
A pregnancy test turned out negative, but the scare was enough for Dax to make the snip decision. “I freaked out. For eight hours I was, like, imagining my life with all these kids... That was Tuesday. I flew home Wednesday for a meeting. Thursday morning I had a vasectomy.
“Kristen was not thrilled that I did it so quickly, but I’m a man of action. I was in and out. I was back in Atlanta two days after that, shooting a Samsung commercial.”
Post-procedure, Dax had to provide a sample to confirm his sterility. “They don’t provide an area there at the urology clinic to service yourself, so you have to bring in a sample.”
But Los Angeles traffic and scheduling didn't play in his favour.
“So, I’m in this meeting… and it’s all the presidents of Warner Bros. I can’t get out of this meeting and the clock is ticking. All of a sudden, I’m out of the meeting... I have 15 minutes to get from Burbank to Beverly Hills and procure my sample… I had to drive cross-town, rush hour. Thank God there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that I could … I literally masturbated on Laurel Canyon in heavy traffic.
“It’s one thing to loosey-goosey just go for it, but I have a jar and it’s heavy traffic. It’s very curvy. For those of you have not been on Laurel Canyon, it’s one of the twistier roads in America. It’s hard enough to get through that road while not making love to yourself, into a container.”
Who says men can't multitask?
“The great news is I’m sterile!”
