5 Jobs Clive Palmer Can Do Now

Clive Palmer

After a controversial three years in parliament, Clive Palmer has decided not to contest his seat of Fairfax.


The self-entitled businessman has resigned, blaming everyone. Clive has led an illustrious career in the limelight, though claims to have been continually attacked by media via scandals that 'amount to nothing.' Apparently they have.

While Clive has repeatedly said he's not interested in a position within the senate, speculation has arisen to suggest otherwise. Perhaps he should ask his wife first? 'If you want a happy a life you want a happy wife,' he told Sky News.

Two of the three Palmer United Party senators, Glenn Lazarus and Jacqui Lambie – fed up with Palmer's leadership style – have already quit to become independents. Now, the party is left with Dio Wang in the senate and Clive in the lower house. Sounds like a rockin' party.

Clive PalmerThree down-one to go

On the eve of Anzac Day, Clive pissed off every single person in Australia, by likening his position in parliament to that of a soldier. "There are thousands of Australians serving our country all over Australia," he said on the floor of Parliament. "I hope I can go on serving our country in the future."

So what's next on Clive's agenda?

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1. The combination of his business problems and tarnished relationship with defected senators Jacqui Lambie and Glen Lazarus, suggests the party is a one-hit wonder. Perhaps Clive could release his own one-hit wonder for Triple J's Like A Version? A rendition of George Ezra's 'Blame It On me'?

2. Clive could produce 'Toy Story 4' – the untold story of Rex the Dinosaur. He has the arms for it.

3. Perhaps he could start looking for whatever makes him a serious political candidate in Australia. Parts of his career will wash up on islands in the Indian Ocean alongside MH 370 eventually.

Clive Palmer2© News Limited Illustration

4. Maybe he'll join forces with Terry Smith to build Titanic 3 after plans to build Titanic 2 went underwater.

5. Or perhaps he'll woo back Jacqui Lambie? Clive and Jacqui's failed relationship crumbled after Jacqui advised him to go on a obesity emissions scheme at Jenny Craig. Maybe after shedding the extra weight of the parliament will rekindle their passionate affair?

Whatever the case, Clive will not be leaving our TV screens any time soon. Maybe he'll star in children's programme? After all, he did once appear in a bizarre video wearing a rabbit onesie and smearing peanut butter onto a Tony Abbot mask. Anything is possible, Clive!

Clive Palmer1Clive Palmer stars in ‘Peanut Butter Jelly’ parody

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