5 Dance Moves To Fool Your Mates When You Can't Dance

An independent artist who has been percolating in the background for some time, Melbourne's Eugene Fox has today released his debut single, 'Miss The Goalie'.

A song exploring themes related to powerlessness, regret, sex, creation, hedonism, hope, and new life, 'Miss The Goalie' was mixed and mastered by Peter Holz (Gang Of Youths, Peking Duk, Vance Joy).

A jaunty, alt.folk sing-along resplendent with finger-clicking and sublime acoustic guitar, Eugene wrote and recorded the track at his home studio in the northern suburbs of Melbourne.

"I wrote and recorded the founding parts of the song in January, on a stinkin' hot day on the porch, my stage. The strings on my Martin were totally f...ed at the time.

"The fretboard buzzed like bees, while birds were overtaken by cicadas and I felt the life in the guitar humming along underneath it all.

"The guitar wouldn't stay in tune, but the song never left me; and in the end, I just thought, 'I'll tune it once more and do one take of everything and see what's what'. It was weird. It quickly felt finished."



Nobody knew Eugene Fox could dance either, not even Eugene himself. Yet the video for his debut release is one continuous two-minute take of him doing just that, dancing his lil heart out (bliss).

So who better to take us through five dance moves for people who can't dance?! "As an artist, you better believe I practice what I preach, so you'll see not one, not two, but at least three of these moves in the clip for 'Miss The Goalie'. Actually, maybe it's all five. That sounds like me. I'll let you be the judge."

1: Click

This one is gold. If you've got even the slightest bit of rhythm, clicking along (especially when there are no clicks) is by the far the best way to fool everyone into thinking you're a pop star – and what do pop stars do? Machines sing for us now. So we must dance.

2: Shapes

Make various shapes in line with the song's theme or ideally, your own comedy arcs. If nothing else, you'll prove that even though you can't dance, you're smarter and funnier than everyone.

3: Spin

Alright, now we have to be careful about how we move as who looks around during a revolution? A well placed spin, at an obvious time, gets all those eyes that were staring at you, back to looking at someone else who can't dance.

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Eugene Fox (@eugene_fox_)

4: Kate Bush

If you’re trying to go simple, think again. You're an ornament, a statue, supporting those around you with languid and outstretched gestures to the sky and frolicking directionless fingers. Think Kate Bush here, but do less.

5: Stomping

Is there a backbeat? Of course there is. Find the beat with your left feet and stomp during the chorus. Some idiot who can't dance, but doesn't care might join in and then you can run off (or chastise them later for trying to take credit for your rhythmic brilliance).