So you want to appear on a reality tv show? Why? Scrub that, we're not interested.
But if you insist on being guinea pig in a fishbowl, Kath Rose has some advice of dos, don'ts and traps for new players: so you can, you know, retain what dignity you have left in the real world:
15 Reality TV Tips
1. Don’t enter into reality TV show looking for a modeling contract: if you ain’t got one, you ain’t gunna get one.2. Don’t enter into a reality TV show THAT HAS BEEN GOING FOR YEARS, and claim you didn’t know what you were getting into (on-set amnesia doesn’t cut it any more, and yes, there are snakes and spiders in Africa).
3. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and overuse your eyebrows or constantly pull faces: that shit is meme-magic and you know it.
4. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and then refuse to do media interviews. Not cool.5. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and think your past will suddenly disappear like magic fairy dust – it’s the called the internet and it’s here to haunt you forever and ever.
6. Don’t enter into a reality TV show, sign all the contracts and then go on the attack for editing you in a ‘mean way” (you signed up for this).
7. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and after the season, bag same reality TV show (see definition of hypocrite in the Oxford Concise).8. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and expect the FM breakfast radio shows to be fighting for you like possessive lions when you finish the season.
9. Don’t enter into a reality TV show and expect to call the shots – the TV station is like a casino, it holds all the cards and the house always wins (but you knew that when you walked in the door, see #6).
10. Don’t enter into a MARRIAGE reality TV show and plead that you are shy and need time for your “walls to come down” (no one’s going to believe you).11. Don’t enter into a MARRIAGE reality TV show and say “I just want to see how things happen naturally” – it’s a marriage TV show, you said I DO in the first five minutes of the show, nothing is natural. Nothing!
12. Don’t enter into a COOKING reality TV show, suddenly decide to cook stuff you can’t even pronounce, and then lament your own downfall; stick to your script even if it’s fish & chips.
13. Don’t enter a reality TV show and then complain you have lost your privacy – cmonnnnn….. really?14. Stop touching your hair all the time you speak.
15. And please - sentences don't begin with LIKE.
