Wondering what Tom Ballard's been up to since he left Triple J? We enlisted fellow comedian Tom Gleeson to find out.
You've been living the life of a comedian since you were 15. How do you pretend to be 'relatable'?
Every year I hire a small Guatemalan child to venture out into society and have relatable experiences for me. He comes back with mundane stories about his phone provider and relationships, as well as inane observations on popular culture, and I mine all of it for material.
You left Triple J but you haven't gone to a commercial station. When will you get over yourself and sell-out?
Probably in about 18 months, when the hipster indie crowd I'm desperately trying to market to realises I have absolutely nothing to offer them in terms of originality or sex appeal. I then hope to secure the breakfast gig on 2DayFM (as "The B-Meister"), host the revival of Channel 9's ‘Hole In The Wall’ and regularly appear in ads for car insurance companies. Watch this space!
Your show is called ‘UnAustralian(ish)’. Will you be picking on me and my Southern Cross tatt?
Why yes! Or at least the implicit attitude of your Southern Cross tattoo, i.e. a highly defensive and simplistic sense of nationalism, i.e. "STRAYA!" Life is about the grey areas and the details; come back to me when you have the entire Coalsack Nebula tattooed on your torso.
Do you think of yourself as a 'person' or as a 'gay'?
I think of myself as a lover. Of penises.
Why should people buy tickets to my show?
Because if I know you, you're very reticent to give them away for free.
Also you're one of the most consistently hilarious and insightful comedians this country has ever produced and watching you in action is honestly one of the best ways to spend an hour.
PLUS WE HAVE THE SAME NAME LOL
Tom Ballard will perform 'UnAustralian(ish)' at the following venues
Feb 14-Mar 02 — Adelaide Fringe Festival @ The Garden Of Unearthly Delights (La Cascadeur)Mar 04-09 — Brisbane Comedy Festival @ Brisbane Powerhouse
Mar 27-Apr 20 — Melbourne International Comedy Festival @ Council Chambers (Melbourne Town Hall)
Sydney & Perth dates TBC.
Be back here tomorrow when Tom Ballard asks Tom Gleeson the tough questions about his new show, 'Quality'.
