His ego is bigger — and better — than your ego. triple j Breakfast host Tom Ballard’s latest show is about his desperate need for people to like him.
You've been labelled one of the best young stand-ups in the country. But c'mon: Why is your ego better than my ego?
Er...it's not, I'm afraid. Probably. Unless you're well up yourself. I just thought it'd be funny for my show title to be me bragging about how much more humble I am than everyone else. GET IT LOL????????
The show is about your desperate need for people to like you. Does this have anything to do with all the hate you copped from the holocaust joke last year?
What a great question! Yes, that was the inspiration for the show. I kind of just had this moment in the middle of that shitstorm going, "How did it come to this? All I wanted was to be hailed as a comic genius and now quite a lot of people hate me passionately and want me fired. This was unexpected."
In the show, you're kicked out of home and labelled a rape apologist. What the...?
THEY'RE TOTALLY UNRELATED STORIES, LET'S MAKE THAT CLEAR RIGHT OFF THE BAT. They were just two other instances from the past 12 months that saw my ego take a beating. My ex-housemate just really didn't like living with me and booted me out (in a very rude way), and when I naively chipped in my perspective on the whole Daniel Tosh "rape joke" controversy, Twitter exploded in my face with self-righteousness and angry hashtags.
The 'Same Love (Doggy Style)' song; how much did you have with that?
It was my idea, initially. I saw that story about the guy abandoning his dog because he thought it was gay on Twitter and at exactly the same time 'Same Love' came on the radio. I took it in on Monday, Alex and Lindsay were keen and we turned it around for Tuesday. It was Kismet! And really fun to do. And the fact that we got to play it for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis and they laughed made it even more surreal and sweet.
You've previously won awards for activism on topics such as homophobia and cyber-bullying. Is being socially aware a major focus for you?
No; I'm just cursed with a golden heart...
(Actually, I'm really only kind of aware about a couple of issues and I do kind of get more credit than I deserve on all that stuff. I just figure we all have a responsibility to speak up/act out for at least one or two things we know about, and if you can tie that in with your jokes or your public profile, all the better. But yeah, I'm much more likely to be checking Buzzfeed than watching ABC News 24.)
What is the best thing about hosting triple j's breakfast show? And the worst?
Best thing: the listeners. They're funny and smart and passionate about music and they put up with our rubbish and when they like and get involved with our ideas, it makes for the best possible radio.
Worst thing: a 4am alarm. And having to worry about what I look like at 7:30am because now with bloody cross media internet wizardry bull-twang, we have our photo taken every goddamn day, crow's feet and all. I bet you coal miners don't have to put up with this shit!
How do you cope working early mornings on the breakfast show after all your late night gigs?
The actual show is always fine because it's fast and fun and I'm charged on coffee. After 9am, you fall a little flat and it's meetings and planning and so on. We stick around till about 12:30/1:00pm, then I nap it up like a bad-ass nanna. Music and comedy gigs at night take their toll, but there's really no other option: I love them both a lot and I'm a young whippersnapper, so I can handle it for now.
Can you tell us a bit about your writing process for stand-up?
NO YOU'LL STEAL MY SECRETS (Well, actually, it's just a lot of writing down stupid little phrases like "cats with lazer legs" or "sandwich awkwardness" in your phone, then months later realizing you have to write a show and getting all those stupid ideas out and going with the least stupid ones.)
Are there any topics which are off limits to you?
Nope. Nothing's off the table. If something's really dark or could really hurt someone's feelings, you just need to be 100% sure that it's funny enough to be included and that it's coming from the right place. Some people get offended if you just mention a certain word, and in my opinion you just can't afford to worry about those people because it'll make your work boring. I've done jokes that include the words "rape", "abortion", "cot death", "pedophile", "c**t" and more, and I'm comfortable with all of them.
I noticed your Twitter feed is clogged with references to the Pope? How do you feel about his resignation?
I'm fascinated by religion and the Catholic Church just constantly blows my mind. From the blatant hypocrisy of the existence of the Vatican to the covering up of the raping of children to the insanity of transubstantiation to the discrimination against women and sexual minorities to the Pope's big funny hat, I just think it's a comedy goldmine and anyone with any respect for themselves or their fellow man should resign and run a million miles from it. The only way I could be "happy" about a new Pope being elected is if it was a black, pro-choice, HIV-positive lesbian atheist.
Either that or Father Bob. He rules.
You're quite an all-rounder. Radio host, DJ, comedian. Does Tom Ballard have any other hidden talents we ought to know about?
I used to be ok(ish?) at tennis. And I can speak a little bit of Japanese. And I'm a tremendously enthusiastic - if not always accurate - lover.
Tom Ballard plays the following shows:
Tue Mar 5 - Sun Mar 10 — Brisbane Comedy Festival @ Brisbane PowerhouseThu Mar 28 - Sun Apr 21 — Melbourne Comedy Festival @ The Swiss House
Fri May 3 - Sat May 4 — Sydney Comedy Festival @ The Comedy Store
