He took home the Joke Of The Fringe Award in Edinburgh last year – and the UK's Mark Simmons is headed to Melbourne International Comedy Festival with 'Jest To Impress’.
It's another show simply stuffed with witty one-liners audiences would be familiar with, particularly after last year's sell-out MICF run. Mark has been seen on the likes of BBC's 'Mock The Week' and 'BT Sport'. . . But he's also been performing more than 200 shows as part of his debut tour, where he's sold more than 30,000 tickets. . . No small feat.
On top of his solo show at Melbourne International Comedy Festival, he'll be joining fellow UK comedians Andy Askins and Harry Stachini for 'Best Of The Edinburgh Fest'.
Read our chat with Harry Stachini.
In keeping with all things laughs as Melbourne's biggest celebration of LOLs approaches, Mark lists his top five one-liners, in no particular order.
Five
“I remember my grandma’s last words, she said 'What are you doing in here with that Hammer?'” (Lee Mack). I love this joke so much, it’s a perfect gag. It’s the example I use when trying to explain how a one-liner can be taken to another level by creating a funny image in the audience's head. He sells it so well too, as the punchline is delivered manically.Four
“Boxers don’t have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? It’s because they don’t fancy each other.” (Jimmy Carr). The first time I saw Jimmy Carr on TV was in 2002 as part of the Royal Variety Performance. It had a big influence on me, I remember it being the first time I'd seen stand-up where you’d have to think about the joke before getting it and I just loved that feeling. I’d then quote the gags to my friends including the one above.Three
“My English teacher once told me I wouldn’t amount to anything, I said, 'Mark my words. . . That’s your job.'” (Gareth Richards). Gareth was a good friend and brilliant comedian who sadly passed away a couple of years ago. When I started comedy, he was a couple of years ahead of me and was the act I looked up to and aspired to be like. He had amazing jokes and a really quirky delivery. Such a talent.Two
“When I told my friends I wanted to be a comedian they laughed. Well, they’re not laughing now.” (Bob Monkhouse). This is one of my favourite jokes. Bob Monkhouse was an old-school comedian who was known for his one-liners. He famously had his joke book stolen in 1995, which made national news and I remember at the time being fascinated by what was in this book, which is why I stole it (sorry, I saw there was a joke there and couldn’t help it). This joke also featured in the film ‘Joker’ which really annoyed me because it was sold in the movie as a bad joke, which it is most definitely not!One
“I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.” (Mark Simmons). Yes this is one of mine but I have included it as it won the Edinburgh Festival Funniest Joke Of The Fringe Award last year, which I’m very proud of as a one-liner comedian. I’m actually not sure if this joke works in Australia as I don’t think you say the phrase “I bottled it” meaning not doing something due to fear. I was also fifth on the list last year too and I think this one works in Australia: “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.”“If you like one-liners I think you’ll love my show 'Jest To Impress' debuting at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this year!”
Mark Simmons plays QT Melbourne 8-20 April. He also plays 'Best Of The Edinburgh Fest' at Athenaeum Theatre 26 March-20 April (Melbourne International Comedy Festival).
