Tara Rankine wants to tell you a story.
Fresh from a London tour, she's ready to reveal all about past love, sex, relationships and heartbreak.
Before you attend the party in her heart, Tara has written a letter to one of the subjects she addresses in the set.
“Dear Rockstar,
I have a confession to make. Do you remember how we first met? Your brother’s leaving party, the banter, the balloons – I made you a sword – do you remember? Always the entertainer! And then the car.. And that wild naughty time we had at the warehouse? Wasn’t that a memory dreams are made of! Well… I just wanted to write to you to tell you that um… Well… I’ve kind of… Well, I’ve written them into a show.
I’ve written you into a show. A one-woman cabaret show about love and sex in fact. I mean it’s hilarious and fabulously entertaining and sexy and heartfelt but you’re in it and it’s honest. Like, I tell them the actual story of the balloons and that time in the warehouse… I even sing about it!
There is literally a song called ‘Rockstar’ in the show – hot I know. But I mean you are the hero in this story – seriously! All the guys wish they were you and all the women wish they were me and the room lights up and everyone laughs (and probably touches themselves a little bit) and it goes off! It’s amazing.
There’s no heartbreak or addiction with you, nothing insanely awkward and embarrassing with you like the time I literally got something stuck inside me (another true story I’ll tell you another time), or when I sobbed on the floor as a full grown woman in a red fairy dress and mascara down my face or when I cooked a dinner party for 40 people in a small uni sharehouse only to f... up the climax and consequently damage a piece of my best friend’s soul – all of which I have also written into the show... No! You’re not those stories! Your story is just all the fun – the epitome of sex and naughtiness and wild hilarity and I just wanted to tell you. To be honest and open. That you’re finally famous. You’re in a comedy cabaret show. MY comedy cabaret show! And it’s gonna go down in history.
Wanna come see it?
With love and libido,
Tara
xxx”
I have a confession to make. Do you remember how we first met? Your brother’s leaving party, the banter, the balloons – I made you a sword – do you remember? Always the entertainer! And then the car.. And that wild naughty time we had at the warehouse? Wasn’t that a memory dreams are made of! Well… I just wanted to write to you to tell you that um… Well… I’ve kind of… Well, I’ve written them into a show.
I’ve written you into a show. A one-woman cabaret show about love and sex in fact. I mean it’s hilarious and fabulously entertaining and sexy and heartfelt but you’re in it and it’s honest. Like, I tell them the actual story of the balloons and that time in the warehouse… I even sing about it!
There is literally a song called ‘Rockstar’ in the show – hot I know. But I mean you are the hero in this story – seriously! All the guys wish they were you and all the women wish they were me and the room lights up and everyone laughs (and probably touches themselves a little bit) and it goes off! It’s amazing.
There’s no heartbreak or addiction with you, nothing insanely awkward and embarrassing with you like the time I literally got something stuck inside me (another true story I’ll tell you another time), or when I sobbed on the floor as a full grown woman in a red fairy dress and mascara down my face or when I cooked a dinner party for 40 people in a small uni sharehouse only to f... up the climax and consequently damage a piece of my best friend’s soul – all of which I have also written into the show... No! You’re not those stories! Your story is just all the fun – the epitome of sex and naughtiness and wild hilarity and I just wanted to tell you. To be honest and open. That you’re finally famous. You’re in a comedy cabaret show. MY comedy cabaret show! And it’s gonna go down in history.
Wanna come see it?
With love and libido,
Tara
xxx”
