This piece was published before the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.
How good does never getting dumped sound? Don't be fooled. . . Lauren Bonner has never been dumped, and it's turned her into a monster.
Some say 'assuming people who reject you must just be afraid of falling in love with you' is unhealthy, but actually, it's self-care.
You might have seen Lauren on SBS's 'The Feed', or ABC's 'Tonightly'. Now, she's making her Melbourne International Comedy Festival debut as well as heading to Gold Coast Laughs Festival, tracking her evolution from self-conscious teen to ice-cold heartbreaker. Don't you mess around with her.
What can we expect from you in this show?
Really just a whole bunch of jokes about a whole bunch of stuff. I talk a bit about dating and relationships, but also about the bus, ghosts, MSN Messenger, and MMA fighter Conor McGregor. Funny, relatable, raw, real.
What is your favourite thing about comedy?
Because it’s live, it’s always unpredictable. Some stuff can make people laugh nine times out of ten, and then you can try it another night and no-one laughs. You just don’t know what’s going to happen. Actually that might be my least favourite thing about comedy.
What makes a heartbreaker?
Pat Benatar would define it as the “the invincible winner”, and I would agree.
Why do you think never having been dumped has turned you into a monster?
It’s given me too much power.
If you could give your 'self-conscious teen' self any advice, what would it be?
You’re hotter than you think you are. Do yoga every day, start now – your body will begin to break down soon. Don’t let that guy take you on a first date to Westfield.
What are you looking forward to about presenting 'Heartbreaker'?
I’d love to find an audience that really digs it. I’ve had a pretty even mix of gals and guys who have liked what I do, so basically if you’re cool and open-minded about weird, dumb, gross sh.t, please come along.
How are you going to make sure it goes down as a truly memorable moment?
My hauntingly beautiful poster photo will be burned into public memory forever.
Lauren Bonner was set to play Gold Coast Laughs Festival and Melbourne International Comedy Festival, which have been cancelled due to COVID-19.