From supporting Joan Rivers to selling out shows in New York and annoying regional Australia, Joel Creasey is lovingly referred to as the ‘Acid Tongue Prince’.
He lands at the BCF with his new show, ‘Rock God’. The following is an extract from the show in Joel’s own words.
My new show, ‘Rock God’, is about my sad attempts to get famous. I'm not even the most famous person in my family! Our family dog Bella takes top billing. I don't want to blow your mind when I tell you this but… Bella is the face of City Farmers. That's right. She models all the dog jackets in all the catalogues. Yes. She's a catalogue model. When people see my parents they say: "Oh Bella's doing well… and I see Joel's doing stuff too".
I am so sick of Bella! She gets ALL the attention. I come home from amazing gigs and I'll be telling my parents all about it and then Bella will slut her way in wearing a new collar and suddenly she's the star of the show! I'm over it! And yes, I'm getting jealous of a seven-year-old West Highland Terrier.
Admittedly, Bella has put on weight lately so sometimes I'll walk past her and whisper under my breath so only she can hear: "Fat bitch" or "I have more Twitter followers than you".
Bella is so famous that she actually went through a Justin Bieber moment with a few psychiatric problems. She's not going to strippers and graffitiing hotel rooms like the Biebs, but for a while she had convinced herself she had a limp — and not like a LL Cool J "swagger" limp either. She was going through a rough time because her boyfriend Alex (the Schanuzer poodle cross from down the road) was put down… I mean that's gotta suck… just going to the park one day and finding out your partner's been put down.
So for a while we thought she had a leg problem and took her to every vet in Australia. We were taking her for x-rays, to the physio, osteopath, chiropractor. She was having remedial massage daily like a retired housewife. Nothing worked. And then we found out — it was all in her mind.
So of course she gets even MORE attention now. The family were waiting on our crazy dog hand and foot. She was even given my bed to sleep in. I came home to visit and was downgraded to the living room couch.
One day I was home alone in Perth when I look out my bedroom window and see Bella in the backyard on her own walking totally normal. I snuck downstairs and watched her go about her business completely fine. Just strutting around… working on her catwalk. Then I heard the front door opening. My sister was home. Bella heard this too and POW! The limp was back!
SHE WAS PLAYING US FOR SCHMACKOS. So I spent the next week just waiting to catch her. I would hide in the lounge room or the backyard and wait for the entire family to go out. I was so determined to expose her. And on my final day in Perth I caught her. I'd been hiding under a beanbag. I'd been there for hours... and she came strutting past like Kate Moss and I was ready. I jumped out and said "HA! I caught you! I'm onto your tricks Bella"… but I scared her so much she stumbled backwards off the stairs and… BROKE HER LEG! HER LEG WAS IN A CAST FOR FOUR MONTHS! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE ATTENTION THIS GOT HER! SHE WAS IN CITY FARMERS MAGAZINE THE FOLLOWING WEEK MODELLING DOGGY WHEELCHAIRS!
Needless to say I haven't had any family attention in quite some time.
Joel Creasey Tour Dates:
Thu 13 Feb – Sat 22 Feb - Adelaide Fringe @ Rhino RoomTue 4 Mar – Sun 9 Mar - Brisbane Comedy Festival @ Rooftop Terrace
Thu 27 Mar – Sun 20 Apr - Melbourne International Comedy Festival @ Swiss House
Tue 29 April – Sat 3 May & Tue 6-10 May - Sydney Comedy Festival @ Harold Park Hotel
Fri 27 Jun - Astor Theatre (Perth)
