This piece was published before the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.
It's not easy being a bogan/hippie in small town rural New Zealand in the '90s.
Comedian Bec Sandys would always be directly in the spotlight, with chaos and misadventure following her around the place like a bad smell.
Bec debuted at the New Zealand International Comedy Festival in 2019 and has a regular spot on 'The Project' NZ as Whip Around reporter.
Here, before her show 'Role Model', Bec lists five ways to become a role model in small town NZ.
One
Dump a cheating boyfriend in a very public way. I reckon a good place is the local rodeo using a megaphone stolen from the back of the cop car of the cop who actually confiscated it from you and your mate when you were protesting outside it earlier that day. Or in the line at KFC on a Friday night. They hate that.
Two
Teach your little sister how to smoke at an early age. This way you can go halvsies in your durries – makes your pocket money go that little bit further. It not only teaches her how to budget but also teaches her how to share. Sharing’s caring!
Three
When you’re told that girls can’t play cricket, enjoy the game and be stoked that ‘for a girl’ you’re the best wicket taker on the team. Take life by the balls, hit it for a six and do what you love doing. Prove everyone wrong!
Four
Learn all the words to Vanilla Ice’s 'Ice Ice Baby' in your teens, so when you’re in your 40s you can bust it out word for word at your godson's 17th birthday, just after you headstand a keg on crate day. Legend sh.t right there!
Five
Write a one-hour show about growing up in small town New Zealand, then perform it at the local pub in front of all of your family and a crap tonne of people you haven’t seen since you got kicked out of school over 27 years ago. Not only will it give you more material for next year’s comedy show, but it’s going to start a sh.t storm of rumours that will keep the town gossips busy for at least another decade.
Bec Sandys was due to play Melbourne International Comedy Festival which has been cancelled due to COVID-19.
