For comedian, broadcaster and actor Bianka Ismailovski, rules are made to be broken – because when did it become policy to adhere to society's expectations?!
Life is so much better when you break free of it all, and Bianka should know – she's the exact opposite of everything she's always been told to be, and she's better for it. Divorced, queer, non-monogamous and (purposely!) child-free.
In her solo show at Melbourne International Comedy Festival, she'll spill on what life is like living for yourself and shattering the patriarchy to walk around 'Like Godzilla'. She's also presenting an open-mic comedy spin class with her 'Sad & Sexy' podcast co-host Maryellen.
Before she takes to the stage, Bianka lists five of the most trash boyfriends in cinema.
One
Billy Loomis in 'Scream'. Our '21 Jump Street' era Johnny Depp lookalike may be hot, but he murdered Sidney's mum, kidnapped her dad, and attempts to frame Sid for multiple murders around the town INCLUDING stringing up the school principal and gutting Drew Barrymore like a fish. All this while calling her frigid and comparing their sex life to an edited-for-TV version of 'The Exorcist'. Absolute trash.Two
Jesse and Chester in 'Dude Where's My Car?'. Sure, the Adidas tracksuits and new tattoos look fly as hell, and yes, they do eventually save the universe from one super hot giant alien, but let's face it, Jesse and Chester are sucky boyfriends. Aside from the fact they trashed the twins' house (twice!) they were also willing to accept oral pleasure from five hot chicks with large breasts. Plus Jesse paid Christie Boner $500 to show him her hoo-hoos. What the twins are doing with those stoners is beyond me. The boys are trash!Three
Nate in 'The Devil Wears Prada'. The patriarchally oppressive ideal that women have to choose between "family or career" takes a human form in Nate. Imagine landing a great job and your sad sack boyfriend who cares more about the cost of Jarlsberg than the fact you've developed an ED, cracks it because you're not giving him enough attention? Andy was let down by a lot of people in this movie, but Nate's whining and unsupportiveness of his partner's stressful job takes the candlelit cupcake. Trash.
Four
Castor Troy in 'Face/Off'. I don't know about you, but any man who deserts his woman and the mother of his child to run off and be a world-class terrorist, feeling up choir girls while dressed as a priest, violently tonguing an FBI agent undercover as an airhostess, claiming to be able to eat a peach for hours, and literally trading FACES (but also body and voices, right?) with a man whose son he murdered years earlier, like I dunno about YOU, but that's just trash to me. Sasha deserved better! Plus her son is then adopted and has to endure Archer's waterfall fingers to the face for the rest of his life. The whole thing reeks of trash.Five
Howard Ratner in 'Uncut Gems'. Is Howard a crappy boyfriend? Yeah, a little, maybe? (I mean, I was Josh Safdie's muse when he wrote 'Uncut Gems'). But for real, Julia Fox is smokin' hot and way out of his league, yet he takes her well for granted. I admit it wasn't a great look for her to be in the bathroom with The Weeknd, and sure, homeboy is really stressed because he gave a priceless diamond to a basketball player (SERIOUSLY, WHY?!) but that doesn't justify him slut-shaming her the way he did. Not to mention his out-of-control gambling, the fact he's a cheater, and that he seems to be doing THE MOST to ensure he has the most stressful life imaginable. TURRR-ASH!Bianka Ismailovski plays Trades Hall ('Like Godzilla') 30 March-23 April and CycleBar ('Open Bike') 2-23 April for Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
