This piece was published before the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.
Does mother really know best?
In their debut stand-up show at Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Annie Nolan and Bianka Thompson (from the 'We Want To Be Better' podcast) recount advice given to them over the years, and how it has shaped them as women, in 'Mother's Daughters'.
It's easy to take what mum says as gospel, but is she really that intuitive, or is she faking it like the rest of us? Annie and Bianka have the answers for you, and with more than 120,000 combined followers across social media, it seems like they're a pretty reliable source!
Here, Bianka puts together a list of five 'Die Hard' quotes you can slip into your day-to-day life, just because.
“It’s no question that 'Die Hard' is the best action movie of all time (or quite possibly just the best movie of all time). If you are like me, a die hard 'Die Hard' fan, then you’re probably looking for ways to get more 'Die Hard' into your everyday life. Here are my top five 'Die Hard' quotes to seamlessly throw into everyday life.”
“Hans, bubby, I’m your white knight”. You know when you’re trying to convince a friend to do something they probably shouldn’t – like come out to the bar on a school night, or to wear that outfit that actually doesn’t look that good but you’re exhausted of them not being about to make a decision and you just wanna go already. Well, instead of saying “would I lie to you?” just say this instead.
“Yippee-ki-yay motherf...er”. When you’re riding in an Uber with your friends and you are in charge of the auxiliary cord, and you know you are about to hype everyone up with a killer track that is gonna both blow their minds and lower the rating of whoever ordered the Uber – drop this classic line before you drop that beat cause you’re in for one hell of an (Uber) ride. . . Giddy up!
“I could talk about industrialisation and men’s fashion all day but I’m afraid work must intrude”. This is a fab line to trot out in Tinder convos that have become a bit stale. While industrialisation and men’s fashion are obviously hot topics of discussion on Tinder, it’s best to throw this one out before even broaching either of these subjects because it will confuse the person you’ve matched with and we all know how much of a turn-on confusing Tinder convos are. Immediately ask them out for a date after you deliver the line and they will be bound to say yes.
“Welcome to the party, pal!”. While you could definitely use this as a greeting to guests who arrive later than you at a party, I’d reserve it purely for when you are getting a Pap smear. It helps break the ice for you and the doctor. Plus, nothing quite says 'party' like a paper dress and a speculum.
“Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs”. This is one to deliver to yourself in the bathroom when you’re at a boring party. Say it into the mirror in a John-Krasinski-looking-at-the-camera-in-'The Office' self-aware way. No-one will hear it, and no-one will know you have said it – but you’ll know. And that’s all that matters.
Annie & Bianka were scheduled to play Melbourne International Comedy Festival which has since been cancelled due to COVID-19.