Alex Ward is a Melbourne based, stand-up comedian.
The Brisbane girl had a dream 2015, making her debut at the Brisbane Comedy Festival and also appearing at Splendour In The Grass and the Melbourne Fringe Festival.
She returns to the BCF for another dose of comedic fun in 2016. Before then, here she shares her love of birds. Enjoy.
1. Eastern Rosella
Eastern Rosellas are medium-sized colourful parrots with distinctive white-cheek patches. Rosellas are one of my fav. Australian birds because they create the ketchup sauce Rosella. As far as I can see they are the only birds to enter the food production services and have successfully run Rosella Preserving & Manufacturing Co for over 100 years. They are extremely successful in this business endeavour despite being birds.2. Emu
Emus are number two because they are the second largest bird in the world. I like emus because I can make an omelette from just one of their eggs. Sure, plopping the ten-inch yolk into a bowl makes you want to vomit and cry simultaneously but that’s all forgotten when I get to tell people I am full from just one egg! I was getting unwanted responses when I was previously telling people I ate 17 quail eggs for breakfast.3. Budgerigar on Trill Bird Food Box
I’m not a model but I know if I was asked to do a photo shoot above a pile of my favourite foods (50 mini-tuna sushi rolls or a single emu egg) I wouldn’t have the composure my number three bird does. Rather than diving head first into the delicious nutrients, the bird maintains mysterious and sexy eye contact. This guy/ gal is one, professional bird.4. Lyn Scully from 'Neighbours'
This is an Aussie bird which has at times been very misunderstood and even disliked, but nonetheless is a top bird. In her early days Lyn was a suburban mother that ran a home and a hairdressing salon. Lyn turned into a bird determined to seek revenge after being hurt by her former lover, Paul Robinson. Lyn briefly migrated but returned in 2009 and she had changed dramatically; she became less passive and more willing to put up a fight.Fellow Ramsey St bird commented: “She always gives something a go and that impresses me. Although she's making enormous mistakes since coming back to the street, she's always well intentioned.” Nothing I love more than a bird who’s willing to fight for what she believes in even if it means everyone hates you.
5. Greedy
Greedy is the wild Kookaburra my step-dad Gerard has trained to fly onto the back deck, land on his arm and eat whatever Gerard has prepared for him. He fills the gap created by us three kids flying the coop of feeling needed as a father.Once Greedy didn’t come for three days and my step-dad stood on the deck everyday mumbling things like “spoiled brat… I don’t even know if you’re ok… where are you?... I’m not mad, I just don’t understand… I need my boy… what a little good for nothing…”.
The day Greedy returned we had an impromptu BBQ to celebrate. Greedy just sat in the tree laughing at us; he’s not that nice but he’s there for Gerard and that’s why he’s a top bird.
Alex Ward performs as part of Brisbane Born And Bread at the Brisbane Powerhouse 2, 3, 8 March.
