What happens to us when our other half leaves us?
'Variations Or Exit Music' from Writer/Director Justin Nott aims to take the endings of three big loves and pry them open to try and understand this.
The play is a collection of variations on endings – the comings and goings of love for four queer men. It's driven and inspired by Justin's own experiences at the endings of two relationships – its foundations scribbled on trains, over wine, or during sleepless nights.
In the play, Justin's mind is haunted by the memories of his first love's demise, and can't seem to visualise the emergence of a new one. He mines the debris of his world, in search of hope. Though 'Variations' has been struck back twice as a result of COVID, Justin feels this only helps give the work greater resonance as a map for hope in solitude.
Here, ahead of 'Variations Or Exit Music' opening at Melbourne's La Mama Courthouse, Justin Nott stays on-theme by listing five songs to break up to.
One
'Cellophane' – FKA Twigs. Twigs had, up until 'Cellophane', been more commonly known for her alien sex pop (my own phrase – trademarked) and for good reason. 'Two Weeks' is a sexy whispered banger. Then came 'Cellophane'. The mark of a great song is one that mashes lyrics and music together for totalising magic. And so Twigs gently strikes the bass notes like a memory bleeding out from your heart before quietly asking, "didn't I do it for you?" Oof! And to finish by blaming everyone else for it all? "They wanna see us apart". Genius. Wasn't our fault.Two
'Supercut' – Lorde. Mark Ronson based his album 'Late Night Feelings' on the philosophy of the Sad Banger. An exquisite but challenging kind of tune: it's at once heartbreaking but also a damn bop. And Lorde gets that vibe better than most. 'Supercut' emulates that cinematic ability to condense a lifetime into a flash with mood and the mood here is vibrant pride. She's looking back at a relationship that didn't survive and triumphantly claiming, "f... yeah. We did that!" It's the kind of break-up song that made you wish your boo had dumped you when it first dropped.Three
'To Be Loved' – Adele. It's a tough call between this and 'Someone Like You', but nobody needs to be told that that's a certified break-up banger. Duh. But 'To Be Loved' is something more. It's Adele walking away from a relationship willingly but no less broken, calling out to him and us that, dammit, I tried. Two words never carried such life and pain in equal measure. I tried. Absolutely gorgeous for a late-night Instagram Live karaoke session on the sauce (I can attest).Four
'Holocene' – Bon Iver. The soft boy king of break-up bangers, Bon Iver is a living legend of the form. 'Skinny Love' being his most recognised, but 'Holocene' hits different. I don't know that he's actually singing about heartbreak (I Googled the lyrics and still don't know. . . But hey, it's Bon Iver). It's just the line "and at once I knew I was not magnificent" that breaks me. To realise that the glory you once were in the eyes of that special someone has now cracked and faded and that you are, no longer, at all, any measure of magnificence? I cry. Pop it on repeat near pillows and doona.Five
'Dancing On My Own' – Robyn. Absolute queen of the lonely break-up banger is Robyn. How she made dancing on your own WHILE watching your boo grind on someone else feel so energising and transcendent is pure genius. The bass-line totally gets you in the strutting-to-the-club (or ex's house with something to say) before you drop and wail, "I'm right over here! Why can't you see me!?" Also a solid anthem for lonely gay club dancers like me. (And sorry, but "stilettos and broken bottles" has never been beaten in accurately distilling gay club heartbreak. Ever.)Honourable mention: 'Bloody Mother F...ing Asshole' – Martha Wainwright. Does what the label says.
'Variations Or Exit Music' plays La Mama Courthouse (Melbourne) 15-25 September.
