'The Pleasure Of Sad Songs' is a musical memoir, documenting a family living with agoraphobia, schizophrenia and dementia.
Singer Leah Cotterell delves into the shadows of her experience, honouring the ups and downs of her family's past and present, in a moving show filled with emotion.
Here, Leah pens an open letter about how 'The Pleasure of Sad Songs' came about.
“I couldn’t think of one reason to sing. All the joy of shouting the blues, soaring on a wave of gospel harmony or getting free with a jazz band had evaporated. My brother was in the PA psychiatric ward and my mother was living alone at home in a noxious cloud of dementia hallucinations. But I couldn’t bear to let go of my 30-year journey as a singer, so I turned to research: to reading and writing and reflection. I enrolled in a Masters degree at the Queensland Conservatorium. Within weeks I realised the show I wanted to make was going to be about my family.
There were challenges. My mother and brother couldn’t give informed consent and the Adult Guardian, who make decisions for my brother decided not to allow me to share my stories about him. But still to be able to share the beauty, the brilliance, the best of my family has been a healing thing. From the responses I’ve had to my performance, it is liberating for lots of other people in the audience too. So many of us have experienced mental health issues or seen the impact they can have on our loved ones. It’s time to acknowledge that beyond the disorder itself, it is our response to mental illness that causes so many of the harms.
The music research came together with great clarity. I explored the ways that music induces emotion, evokes empathy, and creates the possibility of communication. These were also the goals of the performance and they were satisfied. I found a reason to sing that was strong and clear and had the kind of purpose that knit together all the strands of my history. My show shines a light into the shadows, driving off the stigma and isolation that my family lived with for so long. The academic texts say that songs make a space for the listener to share emotion without consequence. I say that is ‘The Pleasure Of Sad Songs’.”
- Leah Cotterell
There were challenges. My mother and brother couldn’t give informed consent and the Adult Guardian, who make decisions for my brother decided not to allow me to share my stories about him. But still to be able to share the beauty, the brilliance, the best of my family has been a healing thing. From the responses I’ve had to my performance, it is liberating for lots of other people in the audience too. So many of us have experienced mental health issues or seen the impact they can have on our loved ones. It’s time to acknowledge that beyond the disorder itself, it is our response to mental illness that causes so many of the harms.
The music research came together with great clarity. I explored the ways that music induces emotion, evokes empathy, and creates the possibility of communication. These were also the goals of the performance and they were satisfied. I found a reason to sing that was strong and clear and had the kind of purpose that knit together all the strands of my history. My show shines a light into the shadows, driving off the stigma and isolation that my family lived with for so long. The academic texts say that songs make a space for the listener to share emotion without consequence. I say that is ‘The Pleasure Of Sad Songs’.”
- Leah Cotterell
