Boys don't cry. Suck it up. Be a man. Fake it 'til you make it.
Bryony Kimmings is an outrageous, hilarious and fearless performance artist from London. Tim Grayburn is an outrageous, hilarious and fearless account manager at a top advertising firm. These two humans happen to be a couple. Bryony spends most of her life on tour trying her best to change the world. Tim spends most of his life at a desk trying his best to sell the world. Six months into their relationship Bryony found out that Tim has severe clinical depression.
'Fake It 'Til You Make It' highlights the importance of talking about and coping with mental illnesses, particularly with men. Director and co-star Bryony Kimmings aims to blast the taboo of mental illness out of the water with homemade music, stupid dancing, onstage arguments, real life stories, tears and truths in this touching and close-to-home show.
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What initially made you put together something like 'Fake It 'Til You Make It'?
My work normally sees me going on some kind of real life social quest. It usually centres around the thing in my life that is causing the most conflict or anger or indeed curiosity. My partners mental health became a huge thing for both of us and the natural reaction was to make a show about it. I talk about the subjects people are yet to feel comfortable doing, so from what we had learnt over a couple of years trying to be infinitely honest about depression we thought it best to pass that on to others
What did you hope to get out of it?
Awards, accolades, good reviews, adoration, to hang out together as a couple… OH and to do our little bit to make men’s mental health a more accessible subject publicly and help to cut suicide statistics in men!
How has mental illness effected you personally?
Tim has had chronic clinical depression and acute anxiety for just over eight years. The show is a true story. The story of his depression, of our relationship. Tim kept his mental illness a secret from everyone he knew for a very long time. And the show charts what happened from the moment I found his tablets, onwards. Many people I know have had mental health problems, it is incredibly common, with 1 in 4 of us suffering in our lifetime.
If mental illness is such a common problem, why do you think it's so hard to talk about, in particular for men?I think that the thought of someone’s brain being ill is a much harder concept to fathom than a simple broken bone. It is also infinitely more terrifying to imagine because it involves the unknown but also centuries of stories villainising the mentally ill. I think the media doesn’t help the situation with its negative stories. For men I think its obvious. We as a society gender our boys to be macho, strong and to NOT talk about their emotions and cry. So if one of them gets a disease that has a key symptom as crying, it doesn’t sit with the narrative they are sold since birth. It will take a lot of education and reconditioning for men to be able to accept depression as something that can happen to them. The silence is their default way of coping, which leads directly to death. Unfortunately.
This is an issue that has been somewhat avoided by artists – what made you want to tackle the topic?
I don’t think that is strictly true, there are many cases of mental illness as subject matter for artists. Even at the moment in the UK there are around fivetouring theatre shows about mental health. Artists are brave and they always tackle difficult subjects. That is our job.
How did Tim handle doing a show about something so close to home for him?To be honest it was Tim’s idea. After I found his tablets he went through a long process of 'coming out' to people he knew. He found it much easier than he had ever imagined to speak about his mental health. We spent a lot of time apart in a our first couple of years together and I asked him if he had ever considered leaving his job to make art. When I asked him what he would like to make a show about, mental health was top of the list. I think at times he has found it hard to be so brutally honest about his own life, but when he sees what it does for others I think he forgets that feeling.
How does Tim's battle with the illness have an affect you?
Of course it makes you upset sometimes, frustrated some days, but it can also prove just how deep love can be at other times. I think this is explored in the show. It is a legitimate question, although most partners would be nervous to answer it, as the onus is always on the sufferer of depression, but mental health has a knock-on effect and that is something we need to talk about more too.
How have you made something so serious into a comedy?It couldn’t be anything other than a comedy for us. A show about depression that was tragic would be such a boring, navel-gazing and obvious thing. Even when Tim is at his lowest we laugh a lot. We ALL laugh in the face of adversity. The show has very serious parts balanced out with light relief, dancing, celebration and facts. I'ts fun but also poignant and heart breaking. Just like life can be.
What can the audience expect from 'Fake It 'Til You Make It'?
I think laughter, tears and everything in-between. It's very raw and honest, very warts-and-all. But audiences feel united, they feel recognised and they feel catharsis. I think all the best theatre does this for its audience. Sitting in the dark and being asked nothing is not my idea of a good night out.
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Is the show as successful as you thought it would be?
The show won the Best Theatre Award at both the Perth Fringe and Adelaide Fringe Festivals. The reception has been phenomenal with 5-star reviews across the board. We are overwhelmed by the response from both the press and the audience. We receive a large volume of emails from people sharing their stories with us. This is the best part of everything that has happened over the past few months.
In your opinion, what does it take to be a real man?
I think a real man is able to communicate his emotions and help others to do so.
'Fake It 'Til You Make It' plays Brisbane Powerhouse, 24-27 June.
