'Single Asian Female' is a new comedy skewering race and gender in contemporary Australia, and it's coming to Brisbane's La Boite Theatre.
In honour of Valentine's Day, the creatives of the show each list a terribly cringeworthy dating moment they've had to overcome in their life.
I got breakfast with a guy I’d made out with at a party (unwillingly, and nothing else happened) to return a jacket he’d lent me. He was late, despite living in the apartment building on top of the cafe, and didn’t really speak to me the entire time. The only things we did talk about were the weather (kill me) and his job that afternoon (driving furniture in a truck to Sydney). I gave him his Lynx soaked jacked and pretty much ran home.
– Michelle Law, Writer
Once a guy asked me out over email, and I said yes (but really wanted to say no because I was not feeling it at all). He tried to organise a first date, and I kept finding excuses to avoid it. One month later, he sent me another email that said "Happy One-Month Anniversary", and said we really should start trying to see each other in real life if this was going to be a long-term thing.
– Courtney Stewart, Actor
When I was 16, I went on a date with a 22-year-old (sorry Mum). We had met at a wedding and he obviously didn’t mind the age difference and asked me out. I was ecstatic. An older man? Yes! He took me to the movies… And it was super uncomfortable. We had nothing to talk about. Maybe because, um, I was still in high school. He then took me to the water tower in Ipswich so that we could “look at the view”. That was my first kiss. I felt like I was drowning (hello saliva) and wasn’t sure why people seemed to like kissing so much (I’m happy to report I’ve since discovered that kissing is in fact, pretty great).
– Emily Vascotto, Actor
I'm quite a shy, introverted person so most of my dates were painfully awkward, but one date from my late teens springs to mind. When I was 17, I met a guy, 19, who I thought was really cool. Funny and smart. He asked me on a date to the movies. He said he would come to my place to pick me up. I remember being so excited that a BOY was coming to PICK ME UP in his CAR! When he arrived, he came down to my front door and collected me and we walked up to the car. His mum was in the driver's seat. He couldn't drive. He didn't own the car. We all sat in excruciating, awkward silence the entire way to the movies. Unfortunately with such a weird start to the date, we never recovered and the date remained strange and weird. I have no idea what the movie was. Later, we never spoke of the date, as though it had never happened!
– Emily Burton, Actor
In grade 12, I was dating a girl and we were about three weeks into the relationship and after recess one day she turned to me and said “I love you.” To which I awkwardly didn’t respond. I then went into drama class and told my friend that I felt weird about her saying I love you so soon. After school that day word had gotten back to my girlfriend that I had told someone it made me feel weird. I was dumped the next day!
– Patrick Jhanur, Actor
'Single Asian Female' plays La Boite Theatre from 11 February-4 March.