The worlds of comedy, circus and music collide for an extra festive celebration in 'A Very Mario Christmas’.
Held at Redland Performing Arts Centre just outside Brisbane, 'A Very Mario Christmas' is hosted by circus and variety legend Mario: Queen Of The Circus and will feature a melting pot of performance in the forms of awe-inspiring skills, ridiculous comedy and heartwarming connection.
Mario will be joined by a host of guests who will all showcase their talents throughout the night, making this a variety show perfect for the Christmas holidays.
Without further ado, Mario takes over to introduce his very festive top five for 'A Very Mario Christmas'.
“Hi, I am Mario: Queen Of The Circus, professional party boy, Queen fan and globe-trotting variety entertainer. This is my list of dos and don’ts for the holidays that will Mario-fy your Christmas season.
Because, let’s face it, Christmas can sometimes be a real drag. There is often a lot of pressure to host or be hosted, to spend hours ‘in the spirit’ of something ‘magical’ with family that you don’t even like. Plus, you always have to spend tonnes of money on awful gifty-type things like candles, weird dense cakes that could survive a nuclear holocaust and those buckets of fancy individually-wrapped chocolate candies. Switzerland’s main export might be diabetes.
I mean, sure, it's delightful to see the sparkle in children’s eyes on Christmas morning, but here’s a newsflash: their eyes are always sparkling, that’s what children’s eyes do. It’s just that today, you finally noticed it because you had to take a picture of them in front of an overpriced plastic decorated pine tree to feed your social media addiction. . . Just me?
Here are my top five suggestions to make this Christmas your best ever.”
Do: Get CREATIVE! For centuries people have been adapting the rules of Christianity to suit the needs of the ruling class. Christmas is no different and you are the ruler of your life. It might be time for a reformation! If there is a new tradition you’ve been meaning to start (12 days of Irish coffees for breakfast? Wrapping-paper-shoplift-challenge? Pants-optional carolling?) Start now!
Don’t: Feel like you have to go to every Christmas thing you are invited to. Remember, no one cares about you very much. If you miss it, they might even be slightly relieved. Whether it’s a work social, a ladies lunch or your child’s wedding, just chuck a sickie!
Do: Buy your gifts now! I mean right now! Stop reading this, get online and buy all the crap you need to buy. Get it done and dusted. The worst thing in the world is to be in the December 20s, too late for delivery, trying to park in, like, Paddington, to find a ‘nice store’. Do it! You will thank me. This is from a man who puts off paying bills of any kind until he’s forced to change his name and move to Australia.
Don’t: Wear Santa Claus-inspired lingerie. You might be surprised that the man twice voted ‘least likely to arrive fully dressed’ would be against Santa Claus-inspired lingerie. And you know the kind I mean: red fish-net shirts, Black thigh-high boots with white fur lining, a thong with a white beard on the front, guys, seriously, it’s not hot, he’s like 80! I am all for sexy Christmas themes but I prefer mining more diverse source material for my ravenous imagination. Why not try Bad Bob Cratchit? Invite friends for a Naughty Nativity Scene? or my favourite: Woody The Wind-Up Toy.
Do: Come see me and a cast of wild and wonderful performers at Redland Performing Arts Centre in 'A Very Mario Christmas'. 'A Very Mario Christmas' plays Redland Performing Arts Centre 16-18 December.