5 Horrible Secrets With The Shadow Collective: The Badly Kept Secret Show

'The Badly Kept Secret Show'
Our eclectic team of writers from around Australia – and a couple beyond – with decades of combined experience and interest in all fields.

The secret’s out – Brisbane’s best and brightest improv comedians are teaming up for a brand new show!


Newly formed troupe The Shadow Collective features an all-killer, no-filler line-up of the funniest improvisers in Queensland, and they’re kicking things off with a bang at 'The Badly Kept Secret Show'. But do these comedy champions have any secrets of their own? We received a terrifying glimpse into their psyches as they got some embarrassing confessions off their chests.

Wade Robinson

When Wade was a child, his parents gave him a bow and arrow set. This proved to be a mistake, as he immediately decided to test his skills by making his brother hide in a cardboard box so that he could shoot at him. Neither of them thought an arrow would pierce through cardboard. They were wrong. Somehow, their parents never found out.

Natalie Bochenski

When renovating her apartment, Natalie was horrified to discover an enormous swastika painted beneath the tiles, with each arm over a metre long. While the builders buffed it away before laying new tiles, she can’t imagine what her grandfather, who fought in the Polish army against the Nazis, would have thought. She remains terrified of what might still be under the carpet.

Drew Lochrie

When a teenage Drew attended a tennis match next to a golf course, he hit upon a cunning scheme. He stuffed his trousers with as many abandoned golf balls as he could carry, thinking he’d sell them later. Arriving late to the match, he made his way to the only available seat in the highest part of the stands – only for the golf balls to tumble noisily out of his trousers and down the wooden scaffolding. John McEnroe and Henri Leconte stopped playing and death-stared him.

Tom Dunstan

As a budding nerd in the 1970s, Tom decided to play electrician by pulling apart an old lamp. In a time before power-saving bulbs (and, for that matter, circuit breakers) he thought he’d discover exactly what happened when he ran mains electricity directly through the power cord to the lightbulb. He managed to conceal both the exploded lightbulb and the melted carpet from his mother.

Brittany White

At eight years old, Brittany was desperate for a pet. Ever resourceful, she captured a gecko from the backyard, named him Louie and made a home for him in her lunchbox. But what to feed him? In the pre-Google ‘90s, she had to rely on her best guess. Unfortunately, it turned out that geckos do not, in fact, eat green ants. Even more unfortunately, it turned out that green ants do eat geckos.

'The Badly Kept Secret Show' plays Daily Planet Café, Fortitude Valley on 18 September.

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