Bernadette Byrne is getting ready to host the darkest, funniest and most debauched variety show in town.
She'll be joined by her family of misfits to present a show filled with funny cabaret and burlesque at its most hilariously inappropriate.
Here, she lists five fantastic freaks of cabaret, and gives us five ways to seduce a cabaret audience.
5 Fantastic Freaks Of Cabaret
One
Me darlings, obviously. I have the highest gin intake and the filthiest mind around.
Two
Jess Love. Punk hula hoop extraordinaire, hilarious and extremely coordinated whilst drunk.
Three
Dimitri Hatton. Beautiful, ridiculous, occasionally naked clown.
Four
Asher Trelevan. The most sexual gentlemen in town, can even make a diablo sexy.
Five
Gypsy Wood. Part burlesque bombshell, part psychopathic beauty queen, all idiot.
5 Ways To Seduce A Cabaret Audience
One
Just like on a good date darlings, atmosphere is incredibly important. Sexy lighting, a banging playlist and above all a smoke machine. I always have one in my bedroom.
Two
Touch them, and not just the ones in the front row. Gently at first, then a bit more firmly, and finally when they are ready and practically begging for it – lick them in the face. They love that.
Three
Be genuine. I genuinely love every second that I am on stage in that tent, and I want the audience to know it. The licking helps with that too.
Four
Ply them with gin. This is not always strictly necessary but if I'm drinking I will (almost) always share.
Five
Put on a fantastic show and always leave them wanting more. This is why I have booked the best acts in the cabaret scene, who I am lucky enough to call my fringe family – all my favourite punks, freaks and weirdos. Our audience is in safe hands.
'Little Death Club' plays The Black Forest at Royal Croquet Club from 22 February-19 March.
