5 Worst Christmas Songs Of All Time And The Blackeyed Susans Love 'em All

The Blackeyed Susans celebrate 30 years together in 2019. The Blackeyed Susans celebrate 30 years together in 2019. Image: Facebook

With Mr Claus less than a week away from his epic journey delivering joy (and coal) to children worldwide, veteran Australian band The Blackeyed Susans have released a special, six-track EP of Christmas-themed songs.

The live renditions of songs by The Pogues, The Velvet Underground, Joni Mitchell and others were recorded at The Spotted Mallard during the band's 2017 run of Christmas shows in Melbourne.

To celebrate the season, Festivus style, the band have supplied a listicle: the 5 worst Christmas songs of all time they still love. So top up the eggnog with Baileys, make your favourite Grinch face and enjoy these bewdies. Coal not included.

1. Wild Man Fischer – 'I'm A Xmas Tree'

Larry 'Wild Man' Fischer was discovered busking on the streets of LA by Frank Zappa in the late '60s. His music is always heartfelt, sometimes paranoid, often annoying and occasionally humorous. A legend of Outsider music.

2. The Residents – 'Santa Dog'

Avant-garage music from the early '70s by a group of anonymous artists who are still producing work today. 'Bing bing bing, bong bong bong.' RIP Hardy :-(

3. Rudolph & The Gang – 'Here Comes Fatty Claus'

Ouch! Johnny MacRae and friends crudely call out the crass commercialisation of Claus.

4. Ronnie James Dio + Tony Iommi – 'God Bless You Merry Gentlemen'

Two members of Black Sabbath give one of the oldest Xmas carols the metal treatment. From the album 'We Wish You A Metal Xmas And A Headbanging New Year'.

5. Wesley Willis – 'Merry Xmas'

Gone but not forgotten, the legendary Wesley Willis reminds us what Xmas is all about. I met him once in Chicago and was chuffed to receive one of his famous headbutt greetings. 'Rock over London, rock on Los Angeles… Allstate, you're in good hands.'

The Blackeyed Susans celebrate 30 years together in 2019 and will be performing at the Port Fairy Folk Festival (Victoria), which takes place 8-11 March 2019.


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