As the howling duo ready themselves for the release of their debut album at the end of the month, they share 5 festival tips to keep you warm and happy.
In a supplied statement, the duo of Novak and John-Henry said: “I’ve never been a ‘festival person’ but somehow, I’ve been to more festivals than I can remember. So what does that mean? Probably nothing, who cares.
“What I can rationalise is the fact that I hate people. They are the worst. And what is the one thing besides music that you invariably get at any festival? People. Stinky, drunk, high, loud, smelly, dirty, obnoxious, pungent people. It’s my living nightmare.
“So, why do I still go to festivals? Because I get paid to now. Just kidding, because I still love a good music festival, as I’ve perfected the art of avoiding the worst offenders. So here's what you need to do in order to be that guy or girl in the corner who looks miserable but is actually having a blast.”
Do not share a goddamn thingOverpack. Bring it all. Even if you know you won’t need it. Because you do not want to have to search for something and end up owing some creepy weirdo a favour because he gave you a bit of toothpaste (Yes, bring toothpaste. We’re not animals).
BYO tentFollowing on from the previous point. You do not want to share a tent with anyone, unless they are super clean and giving off vibes. Even then, spoiler alert: anything in a tent with more than one person is gross. It stinks, it’s hot AND cold, and it’s uncomfortable.
You don’t smell yourself, even when you stink, so if you fly solo in your own tent, it becomes your own, personal safe-space, oblivious to how gross you look and smell.
Don’t make plansDon’t have a specific idea of what’s going to happen. Don’t circle bands on a timetable. Don’t even worry about what your mates want to do. That shit all goes out the window once that girl or boy you just met starts giving you the eyes and wants to go see some DJ you’ve never heard of.
The less people the betterThis applies to band members as well as punters. Festival sound can be hard as fuck to get right, and who do you think has a better chance of nailing a set that’s not in an acoustically-perfect sound hall, the 20-piece psych rockers who have a glockenspiel and two bassists or the two-piece who could play their set even if the sound fails completely?
When in doubt, go see the acts who keep it simple, stupid.
Bring cashThey probs don’t take card, the lines for the ATM will be cray and you’re gonna want to buy a Polish Club t-shirt. They’re $30. What a bargain.
Polish Club's debut album, 'Alright Already', is available 31 March.
Polish Club ShowsFri 5 May - Oxford Art Factory (Sydney)
Sat 6 May - Narara Music Festival (Central Coast)
Thu 11 May - Small Ballroom (Newcastle)
Fri 12 May - Rad Bar (Wollongong)
Sat 13 May - Republic Bar (Hobart)
Fri 19 May - Rocket Bar (Adelaide)
Sat 20 May - Amplifier (Perth)
Thu 25 May - The Foundry (Brisbane)
Fri 26 May - Elsewhere (Gold Coast)
Sat 27 May - Big Pineapple Festival (Sunshine Coast)
Thu 1 Jun - The Transit Bar (Canberra)
Fri 2 Jun - Workers Club (Geelong)
Sat 3 Jun - The Corner (Melbourne)