Andi Snelling has been a diary-keeper since 1992, long before the cultivated Facebook status.
“That means I have over 5,000 pages, spanning 24 years, of my uncensored thoughts documented in painstaking detail. Reading the entire collection for the first time ever just last year was a powerful and surreal experience. And hilarious. So much so, it sparked in me the clevercrazy (this is a word, OK? Trust me) idea to do a show pulled verbatim from my diaries.
“Hence, after a sold-out season at Adelaide Fringe 2016, I am now sharing my theatrical museum of thoughts in Melbourne, in my solo confessional, '#DearDiary'. Given that half the show is written by a child, and half by an adult, the show is an existential joyride of comedy cringe and tragedy tears!
“If that hasn’t convinced you, then these Five Pearls of Wisdom From My Teenage Diary will:”
Pearl of Wisdom #1: It’s useful to know the definition of a French Kiss
"A French kiss is the same as a tongue-y."
Pearl of Wisdom #2: Jealousy causes sore hands
"I mean, what is it with guys? Why don’t they notice me? All boys are the same... I can’t stand it when I’m hanging around with my friends and some absolute drop-dead gorgeous guy asks them to dance and they go 'Um, no, not with you.' I wish I could be that choosy… And no, Diary, don’t say I’m jealous 'cause I’m not.. OK, OK so I’m jealous…"
Pearl of Wisdom #3: Ask your diary for love advice
"HELP! I’m madly in love with two guys. And I want to write a letter to one of them or both of them. But I don’t know their addresses and I’d be too embarrassed if Mum finds out. They are: Darren and Dane… I was hopelessly in love with Dane in grades 4, 5 and 6. But I kinda forgot about him in year 7. But over the holidays I started thinking bout him again… When I was in grade 4 and he was in grade 3, I asked him out about 4 times but he said no every time. I decided that I’d ask him one last time, and if he said no I’d just leave him. So I asked him and to my surprise he said yes! I’m not so sure that he really likes me. He probably just said yes so that I’d shut-up and stop asking him. So I think I’ll just get him out of my head and concentrate on Darren. But I don’t know his address and he might think a letter is geeky… What do you think, Diary?"
Pearl of Wisdom # 4: Bottle your emotions and chuck them in a river
“I’ll be mega upset, but only on the inside and to you, Diary, on the outside I’ve just got to be strong and bottle it all up & chuck it in a river.”
Pearl of Wisdom #5: It’s important, as a 16-year-old Australian girl, to express your feelings about Hitler
"I’ll never understand or forgive what Hitler did, but I’ll try and understand and will forgive the German people of the time."'#DearDiary' performs The Butterfly Club 1- 5 June.