Leopard print is back in fashion, as the undefeated Mile Die Club ended a decade-long premiership drought on Saturday night (4 August) to plough through the Road Train Rollers in the 2018 Adelaide Roller Derby Grand Final.
Adelaide Roller Derby’s biggest event of the season, a Grand Final double header, brought in their largest crowd, with the stands crammed with skate supporters and vintage Derby Girls, and the outskirts of the Adelaide Showground pavilion as busy as peak hour, as a swarm of kids on skates and scooters hooned and hurtled with red-cordial energy.
The on-track action was just as frantic, and slightly more brutal, as the four teams competing clearly knew they had a long off-season to ice their scrapes and bruises, starting at the post-bout after party at The Wheaty.
The Grand Final between the Mile Die Club and the Road Train Rollers featured some of the most crunching blocks I have seen. Moe Skeeto, in particular, 'Moe-d down' Roller jammers with evident glee.
With the assistance of their defensive enforcers, Mile Die jammers Bobby Dazzler, Evil Stig, Mad Squeelz Milz and Roller Stomp-her rolled rampant, leading their team to a 242 to 152 point victory.
Dazzler and Stomp-her were particularly spectacular, as they moe-hawked and pirouetted like NFL wide receivers, with Dazzler, dressed at times in regal red shoulder pads, often celebrating with touchdown flamboyance. Stomp-her demonstrated the athletic prowess that has her touted as one of the best jammers in the country.
With the result no longer in doubt, there was a touching send-off for Rollers blocker Kit Cat Krunch, who was rolling in her last bout after ten years of bruising competition. Kit Cat took on jamming duties against her sister, Mile Die’s Libsmacker. There was no sympathy from her sibling, though, and so no Cinderella ending, with Libsmacker securing the points and the bragging rights.
The Salty Dolls, lead by jammer Trinket’s point scoring spree, secured third place for the season in the preliminary bout against the Wild-Hearses.
Between now and the start of next season, it is time for the Mile Die Club to celebrate. Time will tell whether the leopards will change their spots in 2019?