Dave Eastgate And His Contentious Boners

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  • Monday, 30 April 2018 17:41
Published in Comedy  
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Dave Eastgate Dave Eastgate

Comedian Dave Eastgate is set to rock Sydney Comedy Festival with his brand new show, ‘Rock N Roll Glory Hole World Tour’.

It’s the follow-up to his solo show ‘I Wish I Had A Band’ and features all the songs you love, only this time Dave will be backed by his new band Boner Contention.

“Boner Contention, the band, is the greatest musical force; arguably the hardest band in Australia is Boner Contention,” Dave states.

“Lots of contentious boners in the band; why are the boners contentious? Come and see the show and find out what the contention is with their boners.

“What is great about Boner Contention is in comedy you get a lot of haters, and in my band my drummer is a Jew, my guitarist is an Arab and my bass player is a skinhead, so haters don’t phase us because there's just so much hate going on in the band.”

Though the premise of Boner Contention spans the spectrum of hate and sounds like the beginning of a bad racist joke (‘a Jew, an Arab and a skinhead walk into a rehearsal room…’), Dave says the music they create transcends those barriers in the most visceral way.

“What happens is all that hate gets in one room to make music, and all that hate creates love and it creates boners,” he says.

“I’m sure the boners are contentious but I challenge anyone, male or female, to listen to the band and not get a boner; women get boners at our show all the time and they're amazed themselves, they can't believe it either.”

Taking on the persona of the ultimate rock star frontman, Dave proudly flaunts himself onstage like Axl Rose circa early-‘90s but embraces the visual aesthetic of Axl Rose circa-now.

“I guess the persona I have onstage is very much that overweight, balding guy who really thinks that he's killing it still, really thinks that it’s 1989 and that he's thin and has all his hair,” he says.

“I think I’ve invented a new sub-genre of metal, because in heavy metal we love our sub-genres, and I’m calling mine ‘no-hair metal’. I definitely take inspiration from those ageing rock stars that just won’t give up.”

Like any real rock star, Dave knows a thing or two about indulging in excess, however not so much these days.

“A bacon and cheese chicken fillet burger combo with extra cheese on the burger and extra salt on the chips, and Pepsi for a drink. That's about as excessive as I go these days; the cliché answer is cocaine and hookers but I think these days it’s the bacon and cheese chicken burger combo.

“It’s excess on a budget. Unless you want to pay 400 bucks for a gram of baby laxatives mixed with glucose powder and dental anaesthetic KFC is the way to go, and you get the exhilarating high and the crashing low as well. Who needs cocaine when you can have a chicken fillet burger combo?”

And if there’s one thing rock stars do better than ridiculous excess, it’s ridiculous ways to die; turns out Dave’s got his all figured out.

“Look, I guess OD-ing on KFC and I feel like – I don’t want to sound too prophetic here and I don’t want to jinx myself – but it’s kind of the way I envisaged myself going. I envisaged myself going hugging a bucket of the Colonel’s finest. Kicking the bucket with a bucket of chicken: glorious, you couldn't write that but that's how I envisage it.”

Dave Eastgate plays Factory Theatre 10 May.


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