5 Ways To Sparkle With Performer Jake Howie

Published in Arts  
Jake Howie Jake Howie

There are many ways to sparkle – be true to yourself, laugh lots, surround yourself with great people, dance like no one’s watching (but they are, so keep in rhythm).


In a world which often dims the shine of our sparkiest people, it’s important to feel a fizz in your heart every day. Jake Howie is feeling the fizz in his upcoming Sydney Fringe show. Here, Jake lists his top five tips on how to sparkle.

One

On an idle Tuesday morning, leave the house sans underwear. Sure, no one else will know, but you will. The naughty nature of going commando will add a spring to your step and a sparkle to your eye. Just don’t do it with harsh fabrics, or else you’ll end up with carpet burn in your crevices.

Two

When someone asks, “so what do you do?” at a party, look at them dead in the eye with a straight face and reply: “I’m an anus model for novelty chocolate bum holes”.

Jake Howie 2

Three

Recreate your favourite music videos in your lounge. If you’re feeling like some extra spark, do it with musical instrumentals so you can add your very own live vocals. To make it easier, add gin to the mix. BONUS TIP – If you’re doing 'Crazy In Love', be sure to wear kneepads.

Four

Live your life like you’re starring in a French movie. Some tips; eat cheese, inhale bread, wine is your friend, multiple pastries for breakfast is a respectable choice, red lipstick is always appropriate, be naked lots, straddle hot, artistic strangers whenever you get the chance. Voila, mon cherie!

Five

We’re all going to die, and no one cares what you’re doing. So, do whatever it is that makes your heart sing and get ready for the sparkly afterglow of joy! Also, marrying a hot Italian with a huge salami helps (personal experience).

'Sparkle' plays the Kings Cross Hotel (Dive Bar) 12-15 September.

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