5 Songs Yana Alana Sings Unapologetically

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Yana Alana Yana Alana

Yana Alana: The divine and deluded alter ego of performer Sarah Ward. A queer cabaret queen.


In 'Greatest Tits', you'll get exactly what you'd expect: A night filled with music from her award-winning shows starring her band The Paranas.

Yana says that if there’s something you want to say, write a song a song about it. Here are five songs she wrote... Warning: Not for the faint of heart.

Back Door Blues

“Why you keep creeping round my back door, when I gave you keys to the front?”. For too many women, anal sex is the very first consensual sexual experience they have. Porn has educated heterosexual and bisexual men to believe anal sex is the only sex women have. Men have a g-spot in their anus, we just have a g-what? It’s true a lot of women enjoy anal, but when we welcome you into our house, most of us would prefer it if your came through the front door.

I’m Not The Woman For You

“If you want the kind of woman who will bake a cake for two, I’m not the woman for you”. Not all women want to settle down, buy a house, make a family and cook. Capitalism sells the west an idea that we have a path mapped out for us. And there’s a role for women. We support our men, they earn more than us for the same work, so that encourages us to stay at home and raise the children. Next thing we know we’re baking cup cakes for the school fundraiser. No thanks #barrenforlife


Your Sexuality Ain’t Your Identity

“Some of the queerest people I know are straight”. The first thing most people think about when they find out someone they know is gay is about the sex. I find that so perverse. A consenting adult’s sex life is their own business, as is what’s in their pants. If we’re going to judge queerness on their sex life then my straight friends are more queer than my gay friends. I know straight women that sh.t on their boyfriends faces and gay women that have missionary and cup of tea.

Pussy Wussy Wussy

“A cat has nine lives, but a pussy has one”. Treat pussy with respect. Be kind to your pussy. Feed it good things. Don’t let Donald Trump near it. Your pussy belongs to you and no one else. Pussies like to play and roam. They go hunting and they need to be licked clean. You have such a dirty mind, I’m talking about cats.

The Sorry Song

“The Catholic Church can’t say it, just one little word”. To admit fault, apologise and say sorry is hard. It’s also admittance, which can lead to other things like accountability and responsibility. That’s why the Australian Government has never said sorry for the Genocide of the Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander people. Rolf Harris, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and the endless list of men who have sexually assaulted and raped women have never said sorry. And why Adani, Monsanto and the companies killing the planet never apologise. Then on the flip side, said too much and looses its power. ‘Sorry, I, um, do you know where, sorry, the nearest train station is?’. Some people need to stop saying it and others need to say it more.

Yana Alana plays The Thornbury Theatre 17 May.

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