'It’s Not Too Late (Until You’re Dead)', a new black comedy by Australian Writers Guild award winning playwright Sally Hardy, is an invitation to the funeral of a demanding and delicate diva, who even in death is still calling the shots.
Star and Director Danii Zappia offers the following advice for anyone planning their own funeral, particularly those with little faith in their family members doing it justice. These are all guaranteed to set your funeral off like a firecracker – and remember, it’s never too early to start preparing for the worst!
Favourite pop tune played on a church organ to really set the tone
My first pick would be Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ followed closely by Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’. I particularly enjoy when the mourners realise what song it is. The looks on their faces are priceless, as their overwhelming grief battles against their natural instinct to spontaneously burst out in song.
Stylish portrait of the deceased
You want people to remember you at your very best and highlight your most endearing (and enduring) features. Something sombre and dignified but not too over the top - for example:
Eulogy given by an inebriated sibling
Pay an ungrateful brother/sister back for all the mean things they did to you as a kid by dosing them up with enough Dutch courage to ensure they embarrass themselves in front of the whole crowd. Ideally, equip them ahead of time with some untrue and slanderous anecdotes involving the most devout member of your extended family.
Plenty of unreliable memories
This will provide good fuel for the bitter arguments that are obligatory at any large family gathering. “Remember when Uncle Reginald…”
A big show-stopper to wrap it up
Mournful mourners in mourning can really put a dampener on your big day – so shake them out of their funk with a cheesy singalong Broadway number. Fun fact – Monty Python’s ‘Always Look On The Bright Side of Life’ is now the most popular funeral song. Now try getting that out of your head!
'It’s Not Too Late (Until You’re Dead)' runs from 4-6 October at The Chapel at Star Theatres.